“Too late,” he said, his voice low.
I turned slowly, facing him. The lines in his face were sharper in the soft light, eyes shadowed and unreadable. He ran a hand through his hair, then let it fall to his side.
“You could’ve just told me that you were with him.”
“I didn’t think it mattered.”
He laughed again, that same bitter note as before. “Right. It’s just your ex. No big deal.”
I moved past him toward the kitchen, needing space. Coollinoleum met the soles of my feet. From the cupboard, I took a glass and filled it with water, my hand trembling just enough to make the surface ripple.
“I wasn’t hiding it. We were picking up stuff for the community center. That’s it.”
“Don’t act like I’m crazy for being upset. You’ve barely talked to me these last few days. Then you spend the whole day with him and come home like everything’s fine.”
“Everything is fine,” I said, even though my brain screamed its protest. “Landon and I volunteer together. As long as there is a CCC, I will be there, and so will Landon. I don’t need to check in with you every time I talk to someone,” I snapped, setting the glass down harder than I meant to. Water sloshed over the rim.
“It’s not about checking in, Kira. It’s about us. About honesty. I don’t think you’ve been honest with me for a while now.”
I stared at him, the refrigerator’s low noise suddenly louder than it had any right to be. “What are you talking about?”
“Are you sleeping with him?”
The question knocked the breath right out of me. For a moment, I just stood there, stunned.
My jaw dropped slightly. “Are you serious?” My voice came out cold, almost sharp. “I can’t believe you’re even asking me that.”
He didn’t respond, just watched me with that same stony stillness he always slipped into when he was trying to stay calm. That only made it worse.
I turned from him and crossed the kitchen to lean against the counter, needing something solid beneath my hands. A burning sensation prickled behind my eyes, but I forced it down. I wasn’t going to cry. Not over this. Not now.
“No. I’m not sleeping with Landon,” I said tightly. “Of course I’m not.”
As I said it, a sinking sensation coiled low in my stomach. I had a feeling I knew where that question really came from.
“This isn’t about Landon, is it?” I asked, finally facing him again.
“He’s part of it.” Xavier’s jaw tightened, his lips a thin line as he exhaled through his nose. “You and I keep having the same issues, Kira. The last time I tried to initiate sex, it felt like you were cringing. I thought maybe you weren’t attracted to me, but…”
Attraction wasn’t the problem.
I knew Xavier was objectively attractive. He had that magnetic kind of presence, like he didn’t need to try to draw people in. His smile could charm a room, his body language always easy, confident, like he belonged wherever he stood. On paper, he was the kind of man people wanted.
But I wasn’t wired like most people.
My lack of sexual desire didn’t equate to a lack of attraction. That was what made me different from many other people. I couldn’t lust after someone I hadn’t formed an emotional connection with. It wasn’t about abs or jawlines or the way someone looked in a perfectly tailored suit.
I needed more—conversations that dug beneath the surface, moments of vulnerability, the kind of intimacy that couldn’t be captured in a single glance. Without that, no amount of physical attraction would spark the kind of fire Xavier wanted from me.
No matter how hard I tried these last few months, I was never able to build that connection with him.
“But what?” I asked.
“But then I saw the way you looked at him.”
I tensed, pressing my fingertips against the countertop.
“I don’t look at him with anything other than moderate to severe disdain,” I said, hoping sarcasm could mask the way my chest had gone hollow.
