Was there a chance for us to take a shot at something for real this time? No lies, where nothing was fake. I contemplated if we could handle raw honesty and feelings, without the pressure of filtering our best moments for the online world to judge.
It was scary.
But then again, so was the thought of living without him.
26
NOAH
Daphne and Nathan waited for me as I met with my manager Ezra. He had been dreading my announcement that I was taking a break from social media, but today he helped me workshop how to best deliver the message.
“Make it about the journey,”he had told me.“People don’t follow you because you’re this ‘cool guy.’ They follow you because, whether you know it or not, they see themselves in you. You’re flawed. You don’t have it all figured out. Neither do they. Be honest and show them that. Tell them you’re still searching for yourself and invite them along for the ride. That’s your story.”
So that’s what I did. And then I immediately turned my phone off. The public’s reaction would be a problem for future me. Not like I didn’t have any other preexisting problems: I had a lot to figure out ever since an acceptance email from the University of Illinois Chicago hit my inbox.
Daphne and Nathan had taken over a bench and were halfway through the hot dogs I’d bought them earlier, each exaggerated bite clearly designed to mock my generosity.
“How’d it go?” Daphne asked, wiping a streak of mustardfrom the corner of her mouth as I crossed the street toward them.
“Good,” I said, shoving my hands into my pockets and trying not to sound too relieved. “I’m officially on a break for the road trip.”
“Perfect!” Her eyes lit up with the kind of excitement usually reserved for free samples or last-minute concert tickets. “But it’s not road trip time yet.”
“Why not?” Nathan asked. “I thought you guys had been planning this forever.”
“Noah has to win back Macey first,” Daphne stated matter-of-factly.
Nathan arched a brow but finished his hot dog without comment. For someone who enjoyed the finer things in life, he could put away two chili cheese dogs like they were filet mignons. Clearly, Daphne had already debriefed him on my relationship drama. It was practically their love language as my sister and cousin—conspiring behind my back in the name of “fun” or, more often, “chaos.”
“Go on, Noah,” Daphne prodded with a knowing grin. “Tell us how you’re gonna do it.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m going to the opening of the Astor Royale, a new luxury hotel, tonight. Macey will coincidentally be there, too.”
“Coincidence?” Daphne pressed, tilting her head. “Or is that what Instagram stalking told you?”
I gave her a flat look. “I prefer the term strategic information gathering.”
Nathan snorted. “Doesn’t it feel a little backward to go to a press event after you just announced a social media break?”
“I never said I was breaking fromallsocial interactions,” I countered. “Just the ones that don’t involve winning my ex—” I stopped myself, inhaling sharply. “Winning Macey back.”
Daphne’s eyes gleamed. “Oh, the drama is going to be so good tonight.”
I exhaled, already regretting ever telling them anything.
A press event was the last thing I needed. My mind was already spinning with all the things I still needed to organize before Daphne and I left for the road trip. I really didn’t need to stand in a crowd of over-dressed strangers plastering on fake smiles for cameras. Or, at least, that’s what I thought until I noticed Macey post about the event.
This could be my last chance to see her. My last chance to make things right.
I didn’t expect her to forgive me. That wasn’t the point. What I wanted—no, needed, was for her to understand why things went the way they did. I wanted her to know how much I cared about her, even if it was too late. The pain of imagining her walking out of my life for good was almost unbearable.
“Shit,” I whispered to myself. “I have no idea what I’m going to say.”
“You have to tell her the truth,” said Daphne as if it were the simplest thing out there.
And maybe it was. I used to think relationships were inherently selfish—people always wanting something from someone else. Give and take, but mostly take. But I didn’t fall in love with Macey because I wanted something from her. I fell in love with her because, without even trying, she gave me everything—affection, kindness, empathy.
Maybe that was the best kind of relationship. The kind where you brought nothing to the table except yourself and somehow walked away with more than you ever thought possible.
