“He’s watching the game, and I was waiting for your call. Where’s your brother?”
“He just left.”
“I’m glad my boys made it home safely. Are you unpacking?”
“I’m putting my bed together so I’ll have somewhere to sleep tonight.”
“I can come over tomorrow to help, if you’d like?”
“The more, the merrier. DJ already made it clear he wasn’t coming back.”
“After driving over four thousand miles in the past week, I think he’s justified. I’ll see if I can convince your father to come along. I’m so glad to have you back home, baby boy. I’ve missed you being here.”
“I’m glad to be home, Ma.”
“How are you feeling otherwise?”
She hated that I’d chosen such a dangerous career, and it didn’t help that I was so far from home. I’d been shot at many times over the past twenty-two years, but by the grace of God, I was quick, or the shooters had horrible aim. It may have been a little of both, but I was grateful, regardless. Of course, when my family was informed I’d been shot in the hip, they were concerned but relieved it wasn’t much worse.
It had been a little over six months since the shooting, and after two months of intense daily rehabilitation, I was at about 85 percent. I decreased my sessions to every other day for the following two months and began feeling like my old self.
Four months after the shooting, I discontinued structured sessions but continued to work out on my own. Today, I wouldn’t say I was at 100 percent, but I felt good.
“Everything is good. My hip is almost as good as new.”
“That’s great, Son, but that’s not what I asked. How are you feelingmentally?”
I let her words settle for a moment, processing how I actually felt.
“Not going to work feels weird, but I’ve had some time to get used to it. I’m excited to be home and around family again. I’m nervous about my next endeavor, but anxious to get the ball rolling.”
“It sounds like you’ve come to terms with having to retire sooner than you expected.”
“I have, for the most part. I still feel like I was forced into it, but maybe it was God’s way of telling me it was time for something new.”
“Son, you were a police officer in a very dangerous city, and God kept you safe for over twenty years. That’s a blessing.”
“I agree, Ma, but I had a few more years of service in me. It seems like the department wanted me gone.”
“If that’s the case, why would you want to stay where you’re not wanted?”
“True. It’s done now, so I try not to dwell on it, although it does cross my mind on occasion.”
“That’s understandable. Once you get settled in here, you may not think about it as much, especially if you find a nice woman to occupy your time.”
My thoughts immediately went to Cassandra. She’d been with the department for about fifteen years and was an outstanding officer. We’d been friends since her first day on the job but had begun exploring something more about a month before she was killed.
I wouldn’t lie and say that I was in love with her, because we hadn’t gotten that far, but I loved her as my friend and fellow officer. I felt like I failed her and her family the night we were shot, and I’d never forgive myself for not being able to protect her.
No one knew about our budding relationship except the therapist I began seeing after the shooting. He helped me to stop taking full responsibility for Cassandra’s death and to put the blame on the person who pulled the trigger. Although I still felt partially responsible, I didn’t carry all the weight.
“One day at a time, Ma. Let me get back to putting this bed together. I don’t think my hip could take sleeping on the couch.”
“Okay, baby boy. I love you.”
“I love you too, Ma. Tell Pops the same.”
The call ended, and I went to my music app and selected my favorite playlist. Once my bedroom was filled with music, I got back to work. Time passed quickly, and before long, I had somewhere to sleep.
