She doesn’t look like a troublemaker, in fact, she looks the opposite. Her long red hair is in a French braid, but there are wavy wisps falling out around her graceful neck and face. Her creamy skin looks smooth and soft, a perfect backdrop for the freckles across her cheeks and nose.
She’s fucking beautiful.
My shoulders fall, and I down the rest of my beer when I realize why she pisses me off so much. She reminds me of how fucked up I am, I can’t even walk across a room without looking broken.
She’s just a damn reminder of everything I want to forget.
Fucking hell.
The door to the kitchen opens, and she steps out with my dinner balanced on one hand, a towel on her palm against the hot plate. Her shapely hips sway as she moves around tables and people to get to me. I groan inwardly as I wonder what it would be like to hold those hips while she rides me.
It’s been too long since I’ve felt a woman’s touch. Way too fucking long. Since I don’t have much to offer a woman anymore, I’ve avoided those thoughts.
Looking away, I give my attention to anything besides her as she sets my food on the table in front of me. Taking my empty mug in her hand, she asks, “Would you like another?”
Grabbing the knife and fork like a goddamn Neanderthal, I nod without looking at her. Her small huff of incredulity stings like bees as she turns and walks away, but I push it down and start cutting my chicken fried steak.
The rest of the evening, she doesn’t ask if I want a refill, she just takes away the empty mug and brings a full one. I’ve been nice, I thanked her when she took my empty plate and with each refill. She’s polite, but I can tell she’s done with my shitty attitude.
Fine by me.
Since I don’t want a repeat of what happened the other night with my brothers, I drink slow. The last thing I need is for them to come in here to take me home like a teenager who doesn’t know how to hold his liquor.
Stony rose to the top ten on my shit list for calling them the other night.
Gray drove my truck home that night, and Mason and I fought in his truck the entire way. Mason, of all people, should know how it is on a special ops team, there’s a lot of drinking. I know how to hold my fucking beer.
“You’re taking pain medications, little brother, you can’t drink more than a fucking six-pack after taking pain meds and be trusted to drive.” He argued, keeping his eyes on the road in front of us.
“I haven’t had any meds since this morning. The only effect the beers have on me is numbing the fucking pain in my leg and the thoughts in my head.”
Mason’s head whipped in my direction for a moment, his face pinched, before looking back at the road. “That’s even worse!” He angrily pointed his finger at me. “You can’t be drowning your sorrows and expect us to just sit back and watch. That’s a road you don’t want to go down, and I won’t fucking let you!”
He was pissed.
But so was I.
I pulled my hand down my chin, trying to tamp down my anger. “I don’t remember you auditioning for the position of my ol’ lady. There’s a reason I don’t have one of those, Mason, I don’t need someone nagging me about how I’m fucking up all the time.”
“No, I’m not your fucking ol’ lady, that’s fucking stupid, by the way. But I am your brother, and you have a whole familywho loves you and wants you to be safe, and as long as we’re all around…”
“It might be time for me to move off the ranch. I’m sick of everyone fucking fussing over me and walking on eggshells around me. I don’t fucking need this.”
We’d started yelling by that point, and when I interrupted him with that little bomb, he got even more pissed.
“People wouldn’t walk on eggshells around you if you didn’t act like a goddamn dick all the time. What do you expect, Tucker? Everyone wants you to be happy, and it’s clear as fucking day that you are far from happy.”
My drunken temper got the best of me, and I slammed my fist into the dashboard. “Of course I’m not fucking happy! The life I wanted, the life I enjoyed, is fucking gone. I never wanted to work the ranch, Mason. That’s what you and Gray wanted.” Stabbing my finger into my chest, I yell, “I never wanted that.”
“I get it, I really do, we all do. But that’s not a fucking license to piss your life away, sitting in a bar feeling sorry for yourself. We all get served fucking lemons sometimes, you either choke on them or make your goddamn lemonade.”
“Don’t give me the fucking lemonade bullshit, I can’t even walk normally. My days are full of pain, and hay, and horseshit, if I want to wallow for a minute, I’m gonna fucking wallow.”
We drove in silence for a few minutes before he calmed down. “We’re going to finish this conversation when you don’t have any alcohol in you and I’m not mad enough to pull over and whip your ass on the side of the road, and before you say anything, Gray will help me.”
I had no doubt they were both mad enough at me to give me a good ass-whippin’, so I didn’t say anything. I know my family loves me, but I refuse to be the injured runt of the litter that gets pushed around by everyone.
After a deep breath, he glanced at me one more time. “If you try to move out right now, I’ll slash your fucking tires every goddamn day. Try me, little brother, you know I will.”
