Praying.
Crying.
I lost sight of the officer for a few seconds, but that didn’t stop me. Everything became a huge blur, my vision completely foggy. “Bella. Bella!”
Time stood still, the entire world fading. There were no people on the beach, no waves rolling against the shore. Just silence.
As despair settled in, tears sliding down both sides of my cheek, a single sound captured my attention and it was one I would recognize from a mile away.
My little girl laughing, giggling as she did when she was so very happy.
Very slowly, I turned toward the sound. Seeing her in the arms of the off-duty officer stunned me at first. Was I seeing things? Only when I noticed her arms and legs were covered with sand did it sink in.
The little munchkin had slipped out all by herself, her determination to get to the beach stronger than her desire to please her mommy.
“Bella.”
Taking long strides, the officer approached. At least he was able to grin. My stomach continued to churn.
“Mommy. Look. I found a shell for you.” Her little voice was the same as always as she held out her arm, her eyes lighting up to show me the prize she’d lovingly picked just for me.
To the officer’s credit, he didn’t say anything, but I could read every concerned thought. He also didn’t need to chastise me. I was furious that I’d been so careless.
“I see.” I took it from her hand, trying to smile and be my normal self while I was surprised I was still standing. The moment I gathered her into my arms, I could tell I was smothering her.
“She was digging in the sand all by herself. Weren’t you, sweetheart?”
I glanced at the officer, mouthing ‘thank you.’
“Yeah!” Bella giggled again, doing her best to push away from me.
“Thank you. I don’t even know your name and I’m sorry I didn’t ask,” I told him.
“Tim. Tim Jenkins. That’s no problem. Just doing the judge a favor and I got to spend a little time with a special girl.” He tickled her tummy and her eyes lit up again. “We need to get you cleaned up. Don’t we?”
“Officer Jenkins. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry.”
“There’s no reason to apologize and please call me Tim.”
“Tim,” I repeated, offering a slight smile, which was all I could do. My pulse had skyrocketed along with my blood pressure. There was nothing worse than feeling helpless.
Tim was trying to keep from alarming her, which I would forever be grateful for, while telling me we needed to go inside.
I’d strayed far enough away from the house, leaving it wide open that I understood his concern.
“Why are you crying, Mommy?” Bella’s little hand touched my face, her gentle caress a reminder of everything that was precious to me.
The act of sucking in my breath to keep from sobbing openly and painfully took every ounce of what I had left of my strength. “Because I love my shell so much.” Now wasn’t the time to remind her about the rules. “Time to get you all cleaned up.”
“But Mommy. I want to play on the beach.”
“Maybe later when Hudson comes home.” Home. I was using his vicariously while wondering when I could return to my normal life.
If that was even possible.
While she wrinkled her little nose while contemplating my offer, Tim was actively scanning the beach.
Exhaling, a portion of the horror and fear faded away as I headed up the beach, tickling her little nose and kissing her rosy cheek as I used to do when I pulled her from a bath.
