Why hadn’t he left last night to avoid this shit? The feel of Monty’s warm body pressed to his and Kendrick’s chest against his back, cuddling him. A sap. He turned into a sap from getting cuddled.
His brothers would have a field day with that. They would never leave him be. They were all up in each other's business; it had always been that way. In the main, Rue had no issue with it, except now he was going to be the target.
“Fucking great!”
Eyes drawn to Dad’s comments, Rue blew out a frustrated breath, reading the annoyance between the lines.
A part of him had known his actions would bring trouble, and yet he’d ignored it, for what? Sex? A chance to see if he was right about the dynamic between him and Monty becoming epic with a third?
He deflated faster than he could blink at how real the fucking issue was, when the night had far surpassed any expectation he had. He trudged over the uneven ground. Skirting away from the paddocks and stables, where everyone would be at this time of day, he admitted to himself that he was in trouble.
He’d fucked Monty after he’d sworn never to do that again, and it had blown his mind. The dynamic changed with what Kendrick offered them.
What was wrong with him? Why didn’t he see this last night? It was a mistake to start something that was never gonna work in the ‘real world’?
Monty now knew… everything about his sexual cravings.
In the cold light of day, without Kendrick’s damn presence clouding his decisions, he acknowledged the fucking enormouserror in judgement. The offer of having something that had not felt tangible before Kendrick placed all his desires on a silver platter. One that was impossible to resist. Especially when it contained Monty wrapped in a fucking bow of Rue’s need.
Why is this so wrong?
He snorted at his animal side. Kendrick was worse than the lure of a muddy wallow Rue could sink into and let the gooey, cool mud slide over his hide in that delicious way that emptied his mind.
It is fucking disastrous how fast I fell in without looking for crocodiles. Those fuckers will chomp away and take me down for a death roll. Don’t you get it!
His life was uncomplicated. He needed it to be like that.
Why?
You know why.
The past is gone. Nothing changes what—
Don’t say it.The edge of desperation cut at his frayed nerves. He was in no mood to have them played with right now. Anytime, but particularly when it brought back his inability to change what had happened before Lane rescued him. Being vulnerable was not a state Rue thrived in—it wasn’t. After all, it was why he’d gone to Monty’s that night and regretted it.
It needs to be said when for the first time in months—years—you allowed yourself to drop those damn shields you use. They are exhausting to you and me.
“Oh lookie here, you finally deem to grace us with your presence now all the hard labor is done.” Booker’s snarling gave him the diversion Rue needed and a target for his anger as he swung to face his brother, who was charging across the dirt path leading to the cabins.
Kari was chasing after him, looking concerned, his attention swinging between the two men. “No fucking way are you two taking potshots at each other.”
“You sure ‘bout that?” Rue muttered through clenched teeth, shoving his cell into his jeans pocket to free up both hands.
“Yes!” Kari snapped, getting between them, shoving at Rue’s chest while looking at Booker. “Booker, leave it be. You had enough time away from work when things between you and Frey were all over the place, so you ain’t got no room to criticize.” Kari turned to Rue with none of the anger he aimed at Booker, making Rue’s cheeks heat with embarrassment for no apparent reason.
Kari’s nose twitched. “I’d suggest you go shower and figure out why Monty appears a littleupset.I saw him minutes ago heading to your cabin.”
The groan was all in his head. He cringed at how he was going to need to talk, address the bear in the room—Kendrick.
“Right!” He stomped off in the cabin's direction, not looking at Booker when he wanted a target. Kari wouldn’t stop him if he really wanted to get into it with Booker. The two of them had come to loggerheads a few times when Rue had first moved in with Lane and Derick.
Booker had taken the brunt of his angst because, out of all the brothers, Booker was the only one strong enough to keep him in check. They’d muddled through in the beginning and found an accord that worked for them. Now, Rue loved his brothers—all of them. And that meant he’d need to add Booker to the list of apologizing he was going to have to do today.
First, he was going to need to call Dad.
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone and dialed home, stopping at one of the paddock fences where no one was close enough to hear.
“Are you okay?” Dad asked before Rue could utter a word.
