“Rough night followed by a shit morning wake-up,” Arlo admitted with a heavy-hearted sigh. “They’re both sleeping now, and I want to keep it like that for as long as possible.”
“This got anything to do with what Taggart’s looking into?”
The worry weighed heavily as he nodded. “Unfortunately, it does.” Arlo quickly filled Bash in about the images he’d seen on the computer when he’d found Taggart in pieces, sobbing.
“It reaches further than we thought,” Bash murmured, eyeing those moving around them. “Have you spoken to anyone else about this?”
Arlo shook his head and huffed out a frustrated breath. “I woke with a stabbing pain in my head that got me searching for Taggart, with Soren sleeping soundly at my side. After seeing the state of him, he was my priority. And I’m not sure how much more Taggart has found. I ain’t messing with my boy’s computers. The thing is like a rocket ship console, making it a no-go since I wouldn’t know where to start. When he’s had sleep and eaten something, I’ll speak to him and figure out what I need to share.” He ran his hands through his hair, staring at his friend. “What I need more is advice.”
Bash held his stare. “Anything you need, I’ll help.”
“Taggart is, well, he’s utterly amazing and there is no one better to crack this for us, but it’s wrecking him, emotionally, mentally. I don’t know how long he’d been working while Soren and I were asleep. No fucking clue, he’s stealthy at getting out of bed and to his computer without alerting me.” Arlo shook off the uneasy feeling at how he was potentially never going to change that. “I’ve ordered a mini fridge for his office, because he forgot to do it, but he needs more than just a break to scarf a sandwich or have a drink. Thing is, I don’t want to stifle him and make him feel like I don’t think he can handle doing this job, because I know he can. Fuck, it’s why we came to him in the first place. I just want to make it a little easier on him, so he’s not being bombarded with horrors all day long. Which I, stupidly, thought I could shield him from. Shows what little I knew!”
Bash’s expression turned grave, and he took a sip from the covered cup of coffee he’d brought along. “It’s a hard tightrope to walk, wanting to encourage your boy, but protect him, too. They are so capable, determined too, and stubborn.” He groaned. “Damn, they can be stubborn, but that’s a bonus too, because it means that they’ve got grit, and they’re willing to fight for what they believe in. That’s how you help. You build his walls up so he can keep fighting.”
It sounded great in principle. “Any idea on how I can do that?”
Bash stroked his chin, looking thoughtful as the guys scurried around, marking test points and checking angles.
“You need to finesse this,” Bash responded encouragingly. “Don’t come at him with gruff orders and strict rules, because it sounds to me like he’s been on his own for a long time, even longer than Soren, who from your account had a huge, loving family until the council took it away. Coming from a place like that, I think he’d understand that you are stepping in and creating rules and structure when you feel like he needs it. But itdoesn’t seem like anyone has ever done that for Taggart, at least not in quite some time. I could see you two butting heads if you tried to be too firm with him.”
“Then what can I do?” Arlo questioned, desperate to find a solution that worked. “Aside from what I did last night.”
Bash’s brows arched. “Which was what?”
“I set up a movie for them, and we just watched it together and laughed. It was light, easy and fun, with snacks Soren had made earlier in the day,” Arlo admitted. “But I know that isn’t going to work every time he needs a breather.”
“No, it isn’t, nor is keeping them in the house with Taggart’s workspace right there to tempt him.” Bash clicked his fingers. “You know, there is a Little’s picnic Friday night, and Saturday night there's a double feature of the live action Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. Romy’s excited about it. Your boys might enjoy it too, and the picnic. Just think about it before you say no. I know you're not one for social gatherings, I’m not big on them either, especially outdoors ones where there are no clearly defined entrance and exit points to keep watch over. But the other night, Romy suggested maybe I needed some downtime too, where I didn’t always have to be on the alert. You and me, we’re never going to be able to turn off our training altogether, it’s too ingrained, but we can let our boys teach us how to dial it back, so we can just enjoy living a little.”
“With everything going on…” Arlo began, only to have Bash shoot him a look that silenced him.
“I know. Which is why we need it more than ever,” Bash said firmly. “We’ve seen things we’ll never forget. Too many things to even compartmentalize at this point, especially when the hits keep coming. Those breaks you want Taggart to take, you need them too. We both do.”
Sucking in a deep breath, Arlo considered Bash’s words and couldn’t find a single argument against what Bash had said. Asthe idea slowly took root, he could see not only where it had merit, but where it could actually be beneficial to all of them.
Soren had come from a place where he’d been surrounded, every day, by people he could laugh with, talk to, and interact with. With the way he loved listening to the voices that Arlo had done the night before, he was willing to bet that someone had read to him often. There had probably been storytellers among the flock, especially elders who loved sharing their memories with the younger generation. It wouldn’t be the same, but they had a strong, vibrant community here, and if being around the crash, the pack and all the other shifters who lived in and around Cookietown could give him back some semblance of what he’d lost. Arlo decided he would make it a point to keep up with the activities taking place, so he could bring his boys as often as possible.
And maybe if the other Littles saw the way Taggart and Soren interacted, they wouldn’t be so fearful of Taggart’s size. Arlo was certain that the clumsiness he occasionally glimpsed from Taggart linked directly to him feeling like he needed to hurry in order to be included. The one thing Arlo already knew with all certainty was that Soren wouldn’t allow Taggart to be left out of anything, and that he’d stay by Taggart’s side no matter what activities were going on around them, which might go a long way towards easing Taggart’s nervousness about being the biggest Little in the room.
“We’ll be there,” Arlo said, earning a smile from Bash, who clasped his shoulder.
“Good. I’d better get to work, but you know I’ve got your back, whatever you need, never hesitate to reach out.”
“I know. Thank you, brutha.”
“After everything you did for me”—Bash held his stare—“there’s never any thanks needed.”
As Arlo watched Bash return to his crew, he felt like some of the weight had gotten lifted off his shoulders. Just knowing that Bash understood what he was struggling with, and that his friend was working through some of the same things, made it easier to move forward without feeling like he was spinning his wheels. Always waiting for the next bad thing to fall out of the sky or crawl out from under a rock.
Coffee cup empty, he headed back inside, relieved to find that the house was still silent. Creeping back to the living room, determined not to wake them if they were still sleeping, Arlo felt a rush of warmth surge over him when he heard soft giggles, one a little higher pitched than the other. There, still bundled up like a burrito, were his boys, with a tablet on the pillow.
Soren had flipped around, so that Taggart now spooned up behind him, the opening scene of Penguins of Madagascar unfolding on the screen. At that moment, Arlo knew exactly what he needed to do. Slipping in behind Taggart, he snuggled up close, draped an arm over both of his boys, and started doing the voices they loved.
Soren
“Daddy?”
“I’m right here, darlin’.”
