“Spit it out,” I snap.
He blows out a breath, seeming unsure. It makes my anxiety prickle. The hell is his deal?
“I have something that might help. I know you said you didn’t want it, but…” He gives me a sideways glance. The motherfucker went out and bought me Adderall. That’s ballsy. If Tanner finds out, he’s fucking toast.
I grind my teeth, ready to lash out, but I’m too goddamn tired. At this rate, I can’t keep playing shows and expect to perform well if I don’t sleep. I’ve tried sleeping pills, counting sheep, hell, I even tried some weird sleepy time tea shit Ellie got me. The only thing that did was make me nauseous. Maybe I do need something to keep me going.
“Fuck it, I’ll take some. Better pray Tanner doesn’t find out.”
Shit, or Penn. He’s going to have my ass if he gets wind of this.
I’m not sure why Calvin’s so obsessed with giving me drugs. Maybe because he knows I’m the show. Without me, it’s just a few dudes making noise. Of course, I need my pals. I love them, but I could still give people a show without them. If they didn’t have me, they couldn’t go on.
Yes, Penn sings too, but he’d never take lead. He’d hate all the attention that comes with it. I love attention, but it can be exhausting at times. Who knew?
“Well?” I press.
“You want themnow?”
“Why not? You have them, don’t you?”
He nods, checking the rearview mirror to make sure we’re still alone. “They’re in my bag in the storage closet. Front pocket.”
Locating the bag, I pull out the Ziploc baggie tucked in the front. There must be thirty pills in here.
“Those are twenty milligrams,” Calvin informs me, as I take the passenger seat again. “My guy says one should get you through the whole day.”
“Do you expect me to pay you for this?”
He laughs. “I suppose not. The first ones are free.”
“I won’t need any more. I just need to get through these next few weeks,” I assure him, popping one of the pills into my mouth and dry swallowing. If I can’t sleep, then I’ll just stay up all night.
“I know a guy if you change your mind.”
How the hell does a guy like himknow a guy?
“By the way, what the hell is up with you sending Ellie on the bus when I had a girl on there the other night?” I bite out, remembering I’ve been meaning to wring his neck.
He keeps his eyes trained on the road as he shrugs casually. “I forgot.”
“Bullshit.” He was the one who informed me the bus was empty. He knew what he was doing. Is he trying to make me look bad in front of her?
“I thought you’d just be making out, I didn’t know you’d be fucking her.”
I glare at the side of his face and his eyes get all shifty. “I wasn’t fucking her,” I grit. “Don’t do that shit again.” I hop up and head back to my bunk. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like him from day one. He’s a sneaky motherfucker. I even said as much, said I wasn’t vibing with him, but again, does anyone listen to me? Fuck no.
“Let’s fucking go!”I scream, hopping up and down, energy thrumming through me as we prepare to head on stage. My fingertips are buzzing, adrenaline that normally hits after I’m on stage, already coursing through my body.
The guys stare at me curiously, probably wondering why I’m so hyped up. I bounce to each of them, shaking their shoulders, trying to get them to match my energy. Penn and Liam join in, but Tanner just stares blankly at me.
Dick.
Even he can’t ruin my mood, though. I’m ready. I already checked out the crowd. Might have even seen some good-looking potential for some fun after, too. But I’ll worry about that later.
We pass TripleKill in the hall as they make their way to their greenroom after putting on another great show.
“Good job, fellas,” I say, slapping their hands.
