“Let’s say grace.”
We all take each other’s hands. “Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub. Yay, god,” we recite.
We’re fake Catholics.
“Love ya, Joe.” My mom blows a kiss towards the ceiling.
“Love ya, Dad,” Valentina and I chime in.
We dive right in.
“Nico,” Ma says in between bites. “Where’s Tara been?”
My fork stops on its way to my mouth. “We broke up months ago, Ma.”
She clicks her tongue and stabs her fork in my direction. “What the hell, Nico? She was great.”
Tarawasgreat.Iwas not. I could never be honest with her aboutNakedReactions, which was totally unfair to her, so I broke it off. “Just didn’t work out,” I tell my mom.
“I wanna see you be happy,” she tells me.
Ditto, I want to say. So I’ll keep doing this thing until you’re good.
On my way back to the subway, I pull out my phone.
From: [email protected]
How dare you deprive humanity of the full force that is Ali? Bad girl. Why’d you need to do that?
Are we getting into past relationships and inner wounds now? Wow, the big stuff. Look at us go.
1. My dick is infected.
2. None of my relationships have ever lasted longer than a few months.
3. I love my job.
THREE
Annie
I agreeto meet May and her fiancé Tom at the beach because I’m Very Supportive, but seeing them together right now puts me in a fresh panic that I still don’t have a way to get to their wedding.
Right, because Tom decided to get married inSouth Beach, of all places, and to May, whatever Tom says, goes. Despite her twin sister’sseverely serious fear of flying.
It’s partially my fault. I’ll take some accountability. She asked me time and time again if it was okay, and because I’m behaving and not causing her anymore wedding-related drama, I said it was fine, that I’d figure something out and not to worry her pretty, perfect little head, because I am now the unproblematic Sister Annie and the most helpful Maid of Honor there’s ever been.
Now, the wedding is in two weeks, and I still don’t know how I’m getting there. I don’t have my driver’s license, never needed one as a born and bred city girl. A train ticket is approximately a million dollars, at this point. I set an alarm on my phone to just bite the bullet when I get home because I don’t have another choice.
“So, are you guys all set for the wedding? Do you need me to do any last minute things, Plum?” I ask now, totally overcompensating for my ineptitude as a maid of honor and reaching for her childhood nickname like it’s a lifeline.
“No, our wedding planner has been amazing, and I think her team’s got everything covered.”
Because she’s perfect May with the perfect wedding. “Great,” I tell her. “I’m excited to get ready with you. It’ll be like when we used to do each other’s makeup in the basement.”
“Except you always made me look like Ursula, and I’m going for a more natural look.”
