God, he looks wrecked. A big, beautiful wreck. Like he hasn’t slept, like he’s been walking around with a missing piece. He looks like me underneath this unhinged mask I’m wearing. His eyes land on my face, and they light up and fall apart at the same time. Hope and sorrow tangle in the lines of his face.
And I want. I want. I want.
I want to run into his arms.
I want to scream until my throat shreds.
I want to give in.
Instead, I chirp, “Hey!” My voice sounds like a cartoon chipmunk trying to sell perfume.
Nico's whole face collapses. “Oh, Annie.”
I grin wider. Bigger. Stretch it across my face like Saran wrap. “What’s up?” I say, like we’re neighbors running into each other in the hallway.
He steps toward me, and I instinctively sidestep.
“I know you blocked me,” he says, hands raised slightly, trying to show he’s unarmed. “I just needed to see if you were okay.”
“Oh, I’m great,” I chirp. “I’m fine. May, on the other hand, is not okay. I mean, she’s okay, like physically, but she’s not in a good place. I mean, well, obviously. Her fiancé who she loved for who knows what reason was cheating on her on her fucking wedding day, that fucking asshole, and probably was for eons,and then she lost out on what, tens of thousands of dollars on all the wedding shit, and then?—”
“Annie.”
That word again. My name in his voice. It cuts through my rambling like a whip. I clamp my mouth shut.
“I’m not asking about May. I’m asking about you.”
“Yup. Still fine.”
He takes another step towards me, and I take another away in a twisted choreography, even if we’re standing what has to be a good ten feet apart.
“You still owe me a talk,” he says gently. “Let’s talk.”
“Iz told me she talked to you,” I say, waving it off. “Thanks for the ride. No hard feelings, dude.” Maybe if I avoid his name, this will hurt less.
He flinches. “Dude?” he repeats.
“It was fun. Really fun. You’re great. Seriously. You’re great and wonderful and like the coolest person I know?—”
“Jesus, Annie.” He laughs once, sharp and hurt. “These superlatives aren’t makin’ either of us feel any better.”
“I told you, I’m fine.” My teeth are clenched so tight my jaw will be sore tomorrow.
“Annie, honey?—”
“Stop calling me that,” I snap through my mask. “I told you a million times. I’m not your honey.”
“Lie.”
I blink.
He steps forward. “Let me in.”
“Izzy’s here,” I lie again.
“She’s not—she’s the one who told me to come.”Traitorous bitch. “Besides, that’s not what I fuckin’ mean, and you know it.”
My throat is closing up. “Dude?—”
