“Huh?” Oliver says.
Frankie comes back to me and takes my hand.
The pimply teen lets out a sigh containing way more air than it looks like his scrawny body can hold. “My dad is sick. He usually runs these things. He sent me to cover for him today. I don’t know what to do, so I told everyone to just go for it.”
Frankie is currently doing the thing where she is gripping my hand for dear life and fully leaning into my body, indicating that she is sad, upset, anxious, or all of the above.Fuck.
“Well, what kind of activities do we have available to us?” I ask him, very kindly.
He waves towards the paddle boards floating close to shore. “Those are pirate ships,” he says, then he waves to the three neon spiky tentacled things further back. “And there are sea monsters in the ocean.”
I blink. “Lifeguard?”
He shrugs again, and I want to cut off his shoulders. I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for a teenaged Frankie. “The water is less than waist deep in the entire inlet.”
“My waist or my five-year-old daughter’s waist?”
He looks at me, then looks at Frankie. “Her waist, probably. You’re tall.”
I scrub my face. “Is there treasure?!” I implore.
“Oh,” he says. “I think I left that in my car. I can get it.”
I stare at him, unbelieving.
I look down at Frankie, who is seemingly trying to be absorbed into my body, whose little eyebrows are furrowed.
The next person I make eye contact with is Lina, of all people. She is already looking at me with what I assume is the same look of alarm and indignation currently printed all over my face.
Something changes in her eyes when she looks down at Frankie.
And then, something really cool unfolds.
Lina looks to Oliver, her former commander-in-chief at PS 2. Together, they scan the beach and the water, then look at one another again.
Ollie raises an eyebrow.
With that one gesture, an entire crisis management plan is communicated between them, born out of years of running and maintaining the programming, operations, strategy, and safety of a building full of approximately one hundred adults and nine hundred children together. She nods once, the commander understanding her duties, and they move into action.
“Dom, Georgia, and I will take the water contingency,” she announces. “You guys take the land contingency,” she tells Oliver and his parents.
I nod enthusiastically as if I totally know what she is talking about.
Oliver and his parents move to gang up on the teenager. I overhear Oliver telling the kid to get him the treasure chest, a notebook full of blank paper, and a “writing utensil.”
Georgia, one of Lina’s current soldiers at PS 2, already somehow understands the assignment and wades into the water to drag the attached paddle boards onto land to begin untangling and untying them. Lina claps her hands and gets everyone’s attention, which includes maybe ten other families.
“Ahoy there, mateys,” she shouts between cupped hands.
Frankie’s head perks up.
“We are about to set sail on our adventure on the high seas! Before we set off, we’re going to need two other pirate parent volunteers aside from Dom. Anyone?”
Two dads raise their hands and step forward. She gestures us towards her for a huddle.
“Okay. I’m gonna have each of the kids take a paddle board and then have them do an obstacle course through the water. You’ll need to put on your best sea monster act. I’m going to tell them to try to get past you—you can try to flip them, but please be gentle. Please mind their size. We don’t want any injuries. Once they return to land, they’ll be able to get a map from Oliver over there,” she points to where Oliver and his parents are looking around the beach and drawing on pieces of paper, “and find the treasure. Any questions?”
I have several actually, likewhat the fuck?andhow are you so good at this?andhow did you come up with this so fast?and perhapsdo you think we could have sex without it being detrimental to my relationship with my daughter?but I shake my head, indicating I have no questions instead.
