“Whoa!” I jump up from my seat, holding my hands up in front of me. “What the fuck?”
I’m wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants, and I was sitting at the desk, halfheartedly reading a piece in the newspaper about the seizure of the land. I’d run my eyes over the first two lines at least eight times, unable to process the words as language.
“Thanks, Edna,” Carp says, and his eyes dart to me, then around the room, and back to the lodge owner standing beside him. She’s a short woman, wearing a clear blue visor that sits on her head of thick red curls. An old-fashioned ring of keys is in her hand, still clinking slightly as she turns and nods at Carp.
Blue’s tag tinkles against her collar as she leaps up, greeting them at the door, wagging her tail and licking at their hands enthusiastically. I feel bad. I’ve only been out to take her for quick walks, and I let her go to the bathroom at the dog park down the street. She’s clearly been affected by the dark cloud surrounding me.
“Anytime, River,” Edna says before turning and retreating back into the hallway. I can’t believe she’s betrayed me like this. I paidin advance for two weeks at the lodge. It’s got to be the most business they’ve had in a long time, aside from the time it was fully booked when Amy wanted to stay.
Thoughts of her make my stomach feel heavy, pulse points a little too obvious to my brain. I push away the image of her, the memory of that first night we came back to my cabin together.
“Evan,” Carp says, like he can see my mind already starting to wander.
“You can’t just come in here,” I say, lowering my hands but feeling no less pissed off. “That’s—trespassing… or something.”
“Wellness check,” Carp deadpans, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway, leaving the door open to the hall outside. “Was starting to think you died.”
“Well, now that you’ve seen me alive, you can?—”
“Barely.” Carp laughs, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind him.
“Barely?”
“Barely alive,” he clarifies, gesturing around the room before turning and looking at me. “You didn’t come to our strategy session. Your grandfather hasn’t heard from you in days.”
“That’s the point,” I mutter. Why can’t this fucking town just let me hide away and lick at my wounds in peace?
Not for the first time, I miss my cabin. My land. Nobody came to bother me all the way up there.
“Come on,” Carp says, gesturing for me to follow him. “You’re getting out of here.”
“You’re the mayor,” I counter, frowning. “Not God.”
“No, Evan,” Carp says, and the humor slips out of his tone. It’s startling to see him without his usual good spirits, the amused tone that laces through his words. “I’m yourfriend. And I’m done watching you wither away in here. There’s still a chance to stop the shit going on with McKay, but the window is closing. And we’re sure as hell not going to be able to stop it if you’re not even willing to stand up for yourself.”
“I’m tired.” I sit down and face away from him, already starting to feel him getting through to me. But I don’t want that. If it was just the land, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. It’s losing Amy, losing what I thought was going to be my future, that’s making everything feel so fucking impossible. “They want it that bad, they can fucking take it.”
“Hey.” Carp crosses the room, kicks at the chair until I spin around to face him. The motion of it is so stupid that I can’t stop myself from lifting the corner of my mouth in amusement. “This isn’t Evan Thatcher I’m looking at right now. I’m going to need you to go find him for me and bring him around, because I’m tired of dealing with this lazy asshole.”
I grit my teeth, “Is it lazy to stop fighting something inevitable?”
“It’s lazy to say this is inevitable. Did you sign up for the Corps because you wanted to have fun and play with guns—or because you wanted to stand for what’s right? Stand up for the little guy?”
Carp pauses, and I stare at him, trying to figure out what his angle is.
“Because right now,youare the little guy,” he goes on. “And you need to stand up for your fucking self.”
Carp hardly ever swears. It’s a habit I think he bred out of himself when he won the spot as mayor and knew he’d have to clean up his behavior if he wanted people to take him seriously. So it hits harder when he includes an expletive.
As much as I want to stick in this misery, stay in my dark little room, Carp has already made me laugh. He’s already broken open the little cocoon.
“Fine,” I relent, standing up, rolling my eyes at the pleased look on his face. “Where are we going?”
“First, more work to be done on the reno,” he says. Then, holding his hand up, “Then, we’re meeting with everyone to figure out what we can do. The rep from the state is coming. We have to come up with a way to convince them to turn this thing around.”
I sigh, trying not to get my hopes up. There’s nothing I want more than to get my land back, but the last time I allowed myself to feel hopeful, that hope went and broke my fucking heart.
When I take a step to move for the door, Carp reaches out, blocking my path.
