I finished my breakfast and sipped my coffee while it was still warm. My hair was a mess and my eyes were probably puffy from the lack of quality sleep, but I felt comfortable letting him see all of me, my pale face first thing in the morning, my unshaved legs.
He continued to stare at me, his eyes falling deeper into consternation.
I could feel his mood the way you could see a storm cloud slowly blocking the sun. “Something on your mind?”
He removed his arm from the nearby chair and moved his elbows to the table. He looked down at the dirty plate he’d left there then slowly pushed it aside. When he massaged his knuckles absent-mindedly, I knew he had something serious to share.
We’d already agreed we would be together forever, so I forced myself to stay calm, to know that whatever he shared wouldn’t change what we had. I was tired of feeling the earth shift underneath our feet. Tired of the downpours and the hurricanes. My mind was made up, and nothing would change it.
“I think it’s time I told you about my old life…and the exact terms of the deal I made.”
The curtains were drawn closed, but the sunlight continued to peek through the windows and bring light and warmth to the room. But now, I felt that shadow over us deepen as my body tightened in preparation.
He stared at the table for a moment as he gathered his strength.
I feared what he might say, but I knew it wouldn’t change anything.
“I was married.” He kept his eyes on the surface of the table so he wouldn’t have to see my reaction.
Which was a good thing, because I felt my stomach drop. I felt a strange surge of jealousy that broke straight through my ribs and chest. I’d never been possessive with my lovers, but I found myself obsessed with Callum in an unhealthy way. But I forced those emotions to return where they came from, deep in the recesses of my mind.
He lifted his chin to look at me.
I did my best not to show my disappointment.
“Happily married,” he said. “We met when we were young and married shortly afterward…and started a family.”
This time, I couldn’t control my reaction. I felt myself automatically suck in a breath that I couldn’t hide. “You’re—you’re a father?”
A wince of pain moved over his face before he nodded.
My eyes started to water, although I didn’t know why. Something about Callum being a dad just made me feel so much.
“Two boys—Darius and Tiberius.”
“Oh…did they look like you?” I asked through my tears.
He nodded. “Darius did. Tiberius shared more qualities with his mother, but they both had my dark hair.”
“What—what were they like?” I asked, trying not to let my bottom lip tremble and the tears spill over.
His features hardened in pain at the sight of me. “We don’t have to discuss it.”
“I’m not upset that you’ve already fathered children.” In the next breath, the tears streaked down my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away with my fingertips. “I just…get emotional thinking about it. Picturing you as a father…it’s the most beautiful thing.”
His eyes moved back to the table, and he stared at it for a while, like he needed time before he continued on. “Darius was rambunctious and spontaneous, and Tiberius was cautious and sweet. They were good boys, and I raised them to be men from the moment they were born. They would hunt with me during the day, help me move stones and wood on jobs, and help their mother around the house. They were my world…and they still are.”
My entire perception of him changed when I knew the truth. Every interaction that we’d had now had so much more context.
“Unfortunately, my wife got sick in a storm when I should have been there, and it was clear that it would claim her life. I traveled to the dead forest to visit Bahamut and made a trade—my soul for her life. He agreed, but only if I lied to my wife and told her I was leaving her for someone else…on her deathbed.”
My hand moved my lips even though I hadn’t uttered a sound.
“I did it, and she believed me.” He dropped his hands to the table and sat back against the chair. “Despite the faithful and loving man I’d been our whole lives, she believed it without hesitation. She married my brother within a few months after I left. My sons believed I abandoned them…and started calling my brother their father. I watched them age while they didn’t know I was there, watched them marry and have their own children, and I constantly begged Bahamut to let me tell my sons the truth, but he always declined. Once Anya was gone and my sons were old men, I asked again, and he said no. I didn’t visit them again…because no father should have to watch their children die.”
“Callum…” I started to weep, this story the saddest I’d ever heard.
He was quiet for a long time, his eyes somewhere else as he remained lost in memory. He had no tears to shed. His eyes appeared dry, like he’d thought about this so many times that he was empty of emotion. “My heart buried itself in its dormancy, and I became numb to the world. Which was why it was so easy to be Bahamut’s successor, because I didn’t care for anyone. I felt no guilt or shame for taking the souls of people who would regret their decision later. And then I met you, and my heart was suddenly alive again. I thought I would never love again, but I loved you instantly and passionately and instinctively. Unlike Anya, you’ve never doubted me. When I disappeared, you didn’t assume I abandoned you. You knew I was still there, that I still loved you, and even came all the way down there to take my place because you believed it so deeply.” His eyes came back to me. “I loved my wife, but once she believed me without second thought, that love changed. And then she moved on with my brother so quickly,and I questioned whether I’d made the right decision. I’d sacrificed my eternal soul for a woman who couldn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt…while you sacrificed your soul for me without hesitation.” His eyes surveyed mine with a new depth. “I hate how painful this journey has been, hate that it came at the loss of my boys, but I think this is where I was supposed to end up—with you.”
