My stomach growls, nudging me out of bed. I freshen up in the bathroom and follow the voices I hear downstairs. Everyone’s gathered around the kitchen table.
“Hey, sweetie,” Maryanne greets me with a knowing smile. “How’re you feeling?”
“Better. But I’m starving.”
“There’s leftover pizza in the fridge. Help yourself.”
I grab a plate, stack it with slices of pepperoni, and toss it in the microwave. While it reheats, I scan the table. Ben and Maryanne look totally unbothered that two of their threeunderage kids are clearly battling hangovers. Axel, looking far more alive than this morning, sips coffee like a recovering professional. Johnny looks mostly fine, though tired.
What time did we even get home?
The microwave dings. I grab my food and take the open seat beside Axel. Johnny doesn’t look at me. Not once. And that tells me everything I need to know. He regrets it.
I steel myself. Shut it all down. Rebuild my walls. If he wants to pretend it didn’t happen, fine. I can pretend, too. I finish my food quickly and stand.
“I’m gonna head back upstairs.”
Nobody protests. Perfect.
Back in my room, I throw Gossip Girl on again and burrow under the covers, determined to avoideveryonefor the rest of the night. I get so lost in my show and my thoughts that I don’t hear the door open. When a figure shifts in my peripheral vision, I jolt.
“Jesus, you scared me,” I say, pressing a hand to my chest.
“Sorry,” Johnny says from the foot of my bed. “I wasn’t exactly quiet.”
“No, I just wasn’t paying attention.” I pause. “What’s up?”
He fidgets. Doesn’t meet my eyes. The way he shifts, the way he won’t look at me… it pisses me off.
“Just spit it out. You’re not going to break my poor, little heart,” I say, voice flat. “It was just a kiss.”
It wasn’t. It waseverything. But I lie, because that’s what he wants to hear.
His jaw tightens. His nostrils flare, making the silver hoop in his nose catch the light. Then his eyes finally find mine.
“Fine,” he snaps. “I just wanted to clear the air. Last night was a mistake. It won’t happen again. Happy?”
“Ecstatic,” I say coolly. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to watch snobby rich kids ruin each other’s lives.”
His fists clench at his sides, but he doesn’t say another word. He storms out, slamming the door behind him.
I stare hard at the screen, pretending I’m not shaking. I don’t move when the tears come. I let them fall until they sting, then I wipe them away like they’re poison. If he can kiss me like that,touchme like that, and then dismiss it like it meant nothing… then he doesn’t deserve me.
I press pause. The screen goes dark. I silently make a promise that I won’t let him in that deep again.
After all, we’re family. Nothing more.
Chapter 23
Johnny and I spend the next few weeks tiptoeing around each other. We’re painfully polite, like strangers playing house. The shift is obvious, and the rift between us? Unmistakable.
“What’s with you two?” Axel asks one morning in the gym. After a solid month and a half of training, I can proudly say I can now jog a full mile without stopping. It’s a slow jog, but I’ve never been able to do that in my life.
“Nothing. He’s been weird since Halloween,” I lie smoothly. “Probably butt hurt about the dancing or whatever.”
I’d rather eat glass than confess about that soul-stealing kiss or how I practically came undone on the hood of Johnny’s car. Especially not to his brother.
“Hmm.” Axel side-eyes me, suspicious. “And how didyoufeel about the dancing?”
