I shoot him a glare, but there’s no real heat behind it. “You weren’t invited.”
He pouts.
Minutes later, all three of us are in the car, heading to the mall. Axel lounges in the backseat, looking smug as hell. I catch him watching me in the side mirror, and his grin only grows when I roll my eyes.
Charmed his way in with those damn dimples, as usual.
Thankfully, he has his own plans once we arrive, and Maryanne and I split off to dive into home decor. He disappears in the direction of… wherever Axel shops. Probably somewhere that exclusively sells black t-shirts and huge egos.
Turns out, Maryanne is thebestshopping buddy. She’s got great taste, doesn’t flinch at price tags, and doesn’t bulldoze my decisions like my mom used to. She offers opinions without pressure, and she actually listens.
It’s the first time in forever I feel like I get to choose what my life looks like, even if it’s just through throw pillows and duvet covers.
While we shop, Maryanne asks about school and friends, but it doesn’t feel like talking to a parent. It feels like talking toa friend. She genuinely wants to hear what I have to say. Her advice is thoughtful, and never pushy. Never judgmental.
By the time we’ve made a decent dent in her bank account, we’re both ready for a break. We head to the food court and grab a pair of those oversized, soft pretzels that are 90% preservatives and 10% sin. Which is exactly what makes them so good.
Maryanne gets a classic salted one. I go for cinnamon sugar. We split both, and the salty-sweet combo is pure magic after a morning of serious shopping.
I dip a piece of my salty pretzel in mustard and pop it in my mouth. “Thanks for everything,” I say, nodding toward the bags at our feet. I got bedding, a lamp, knick-knacks… all things I actually got to choose.
“You’re welcome,” she says with a warm smile. “No thanks needed. I had fun today. In a house full of boys, us girls have to stick together.”
“I had a really nice time, too.” I lick some salt from my fingers, then hesitate before speaking again. “I hope this doesn’t sound nosy or rude, but how come you and Ben never had kids together? You’re obviously great parents.”
Maryanne finishes chewing, her expression thoughtful. “It’s a fair question,” she says eventually. “I guess it just wasn’t in the cards for us.”
She pauses. “Have Axel or Johnny ever talked about their dad?”
I shake my head. Based on my personal experience, an absentee dad isn’t something that should be asked about, and neither of the boys have brought him up. I just assumed he was out of the picture, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dying to know the story.
“They probably won’t. He left when I found out I was pregnant for the second time. He wasn’t a good man. I stayedwith him too long. Mainly, for Johnny’s sake, but in the end? He left me because of Axel. Which says everything, doesn’t it?” Her voice is soft but steady.
“I was a single mom for a long time, and it was hard. There were many years we were just surviving. When I met Ben, I knew pretty quickly that he was the one. But even after we got married, it took me a long time to feel secure enough to even think about having another child.”
She takes a sip of her drink, then leans in slightly, her voice lowering.
“Don’t tell him I told you this, but… Ben had a vasectomy after he left you and your mom.”
Huh.I would’ve never guessed.
Maryanne nods at my expression. “It broke him, Lina. Knowing he had a daughter out there and not being allowed to be part of her life? It gutted him. He never wanted to bring another child into the world and risk not being there again. So, he made sure he couldn’t.”
Knowing that makes me respect him, more than I have already come to.
“He told me about you from the start. It was never a secret between us. I think we both wondered about you constantly. He’d look into you a couple times a year, just to make sure you were okay. He’d give me little updates, but neither of us ever thought we’d actually meet you. And certainly not like this.”
“Anyway, to answer your question,” Maryanne continues, “at the time, I was so overwhelmed with my own boys, I couldn’t imagine adding more to the mix. Ben stepped into a fatherly role for them almost instantly, and I loved him even more for it. By the time we actually talked about the possibility of more kids, Johnny and Axel were already in middle school, and we were both deep into our careers. Neither of us wanted to take a step back to start over again. So, we didn’t.”
She pauses, eyes warm.
“I always wanted a daughter. I know you don’t see me as a replacement for your mom, and I would never expect you to, but I do hope we can get along. Maybe even be friends. I’ll always be here to listen, or guide you, if you need me.”
She reaches a hand across the table, palm up in quiet offering.
I barely falter before placing mine in hers. Her grip is warm and sure.
I can’t remember the last time my mom talked to me this candidly. Or if she ever did. Most of our conversations were surface level at best. This… this feels different. Real. The pain of that contrast stings a little.
