Nik’s the one guy who’s made space for me without expectation. He’s fun and flirty, sure, but underneath all that, he’s steady. He doesn’t push, doesn’t pressure. If I flinch or shut down, he backs off and waits. And he waits with kindness, not resentment. He’s so patient. It’s like he knows it’s not a matter ofifI let him in, butwhen. And he might be right.
But even as I think it, another name pushes forward: Axel.
He’s smug and impulsive and maddeningly hot and cold, but he’s also real. One minute he’s golden retriever energy: charming, dependable, playful. The next, he’s all German shepherd: fiercely loyal, protective, and willing to rip someone’s throat out with his bare teeth. He’s ride-or-die. He keeps showing up, continually chipping away at all my defenses by simply being himself. It’s only a matter of time before he gets through.
And then there’s Johnny.
Sweet, reliable Johnny. Always calling meHoney, always building me up, always pushing me to be stronger, both inside and out. He sees my broken pieces and gently offers to help sort through them. But there’s a darkness in him too. I’ve seen flashes of it, in the rare moments when he thinks no one’s watching. And if my darkness ever danced with his... I don’t think I’d want to stop.
I slam the mental door shut on all of it. Hard.
What the hell is wrong with me? Who seriously has a crush on three different guys?
I’m not used to being treated kindly. I’m not used to being seen. That has to be it. I’m confusing kindness for something deeper.
Right? Right.
Still, my heart isn’t entirely convinced.
Jessie perks up at my confession, but class starts before she can press me. I make sure to pack up quickly at the end and say goodbye before she can corner me.
Once again, I’m one of the first students in art. I grab my sketchpad and settle into my spot. A few moments later, Nik strolls in, flashing me a grin that should be illegal. I fidget as he drops into the seat next to me.
“Hey, trouble!”
He’s got a little stubble today, just enough to make him look rugged and…lickable.
Before I can dwell on that dangerous visual, Axel walks into the room. His eyes lock on mine instantly. It’s like he canseeme. Right through every barrier I’ve built, right down to the parts I keep hidden. It’s unnerving. Intoxicating.
He sits on my other side, and the energy shifts immediately. He and Nik exchange a few words over me, easy and casual. But I feel like I’m sitting between two different gravitational pulls. One stable and steady, the other wild and unpredictable.
Class starts. Just like yesterday, we have a brief lesson and then are left alone to work on our projects. Nik tries to keep me engaged with light conversation, but Axel’s voice from yesterday echoes in my mind:He’s going to want more.He’s not the kind of guy who waits.
And the thing is… he’s probably not wrong.
My mood dips. Doubt coils in my stomach. Nik deserves someone who isn’t a walking trigger warning. Someone who won’t panic if things move too fast. Someone who doesn’t have trauma tattooed across her psyche.
He notices the shift. I see it in the way his smile dims, howhe gives me space, letting me focus on my project. But I can feel the missed opportunity between us. It’s thick, heavy, and mine to own.
By the time the bell rings, I’m the first one on my feet. I rush to the car, hoping to outrun the spiral in my head. I lean against the passenger door and try to collect myself, scolding the voice that keeps whispering I’m broken. That I’m too much. That no one wantsbaggage.
Axel’s words yesterday were harsh, but they weren’t far from the fears I already have. And even though he apologized, they still left a mark.
Axel and Nik’s voices carry across the parking lot. I glance up just in time to see them walking side-by-side toward the car. My brows pinch in confusion, and Axel must catch it because he clarifies: “Nik’s coming home with us to hang out.”
Of course he is. Right on time for my mental breakdown.
I paste on a passable smile for Nik and slide into the passenger seat. The second the door closes behind me, I feel the invisible walls go up.
On the drive home, Axel and Nik trade stories about school, friends, and teachers I barely know. I try, but I can’t follow the conversation. My thoughts are too loud. I nod a few times at nothing and stare out the window, trying to get a grip on my spiraling insecurities.
My phone chimes, and I pull it out instinctively, grateful for the distraction. One new message.
From… Nik?
I glance at him through the side mirror. He gives me a subtle look, a tilt of the head like,go ahead, read it.He must’ve sent it while I was zoned out.
I angle the screen away from Axel and open the text.
