I freeze, unsure where to even begin. How do I explain Alexander? He’s too many things all at once. A man I should run from, but the only one who’s ever looked at me like I mattered. Cold. Dangerous. Untouchable. And yet… he makes me weak. Makes me think about him when I shouldn’t, when I swore I wouldn’t.
Tyler tilts his head, waiting. I stay quiet.
“So is he some big shot or what? Why did he send his personal assistant here? And how the hell does someone book you an audiology appointment before you even knew you needed one?”
“I don’t know how to explain it in a way you’ll understand,” I sign, then rub a hand over my face.
He doesn’t back down. His eyes are sharp, cutting.
“You met some guy. Some rich guy. His assistant shows up at your door. He books your medical appointments like it’s nothing. And you still don’t know how to explain him?” His hands slice through the air, accusing.
“Of course I do.”
But I don’t. Not really.
Tyler narrows his eyes. “Is he gay?”
The question stuns me. My chest tightens. Is he?
“Does he even know that you’re gay?” he presses, his gaze holding mine like he can see straight through me.
My lips press together. I don’t know what Alexander knows. I don’t know anything, except how he makes me feel, and that’s the problem.
His expression shifting, thoughtful now.
“The day you went to see your mom,” he signs slowly. “Your phone was off. You didn’t come home. And when you did, you smelled like…” his nose wrinkles.“Like expensive perfume. The kind you only find in glass cases.”
My stomach knots. Of course, he noticed. Of course, he connected it.
“You stayed at his place,”he accuses.
I hesitate, heat creeping up my neck. Still, I nod. His eyes widen, ready to explode but I cut him off before he can.
“No. We didn’t—nothing happened. It’s not like that. So get your mind out of the gutter.”
“You have feelings for this man,” Tyler signs slowly, his hands deliberate, his face calm, like he’s not accusing me, just realizing something out loud.
What? No. Absolutely not.
Just because Alexander happens to be ridiculously attractive, and just because I can’t stop thinking about him lately, even when I try to shove him out of my head—that doesn’t mean I have feelings for him. That would be… stupid. Dangerous.
“I don’t have feelings for him” I sign back, sharper than I intend, exhaustion pulling at my shoulders. “Can we please drop this? We have bigger things to deal with, like the woman standing outside my door right now.”
Tyler gives me this look I can’t stand—a soft, pitying curve of his mouth, like he knows something about me that I’m still refusing to see. He sighs, and my stomach twists.
“I want new hearing aids,” I sign before he can respond, my movements tighter, more desperate. “It’s been hell working, sitting in class, pretending I can catch up—without them. But getting ones that actually work for me, with all the consultations and tests… It’s way above my budget right now. And I don’t have insurance to cover it.”
Tyler’s expression softens. His hands move more slowly now, steady, comforting.“Look, Lucas. If you trust him, then what’s the problem with letting him help? He offered, didn’t he?”
Trust. The word lands like a punch in my chest. Trust is not something I give freely. Trust is dangerous. I know he can see my hesitation because his lips twitch into a small smile.
“If you didn’t trust him at least a little, you wouldn’t have spent the night at his place.”
I bite down hard on my lip, shame heating my face. That night was… I wasn’t in my right mind. I was tired, cornered by too many things I couldn’t control, and he—Alexander—was there. That doesn’t mean I trust him.
“I don’t want to be indebted to him,” I finally sign, slower now, my chest heavy with the truth of it.“I don’t want to owe him anything.”
Tyler shrugs, a little helpless.
