At first, I wanted Alex in every session. I couldn’t face my own voice, my own silence without him there. But for the past two months, I’ve been doing them alone. Progress. Joanna says it, but more importantly, Alex says it. He’s proud of me. Thatpride in his eyes, quiet but certain, has been enough to keep me steady.
And God—Alex. Just thinking of him makes my chest ache in the best way, a pull I can’t resist. The thought is enough to make me restless. I push back my chair, hand my paper to the invigilator, and gather my things. Without a second glance at the exam hall, I walk out and exhale, feeling lighter as the door closes behind me.
Alex, Alex, Alex… fuck, I miss him. He’s been so strict with me this exam week—no visits, no late nights, no distractions. He said I needed to focus and study, and I listened, but God, it’s been ten whole days without touching him. Ten whole days without seeing him feels like a lifetime. Well, I saw him earlier this week for his thirtieth birthday, but it was just for a couple of hours.
He had told me he didn’t care about birthdays, that he wasn’t the type to celebrate them. But I do. I care. So I baked his favorite cake, and I got him a necklace—simple, elegant, from the brand he always favors. I wanted to do more for him, but I know Alex. He hates excess, even though he goes above and beyond for me, he hates the idea of me spending on him. So I kept it small, even though everything in me wanted to give him the whole world if I could.
And after those two fleeting hours at his place, and without him touching me, he drove me back to my apartment like I was some grounded teenager who’d been given just enough freedom for the night.
Tyler and I don’t live together anymore. That’s because I had to move into this new apartment closer to school. It’s a two–bedroom place, and from the start I begged him—over and over—to come live with me here. It would’ve made sense; it’s closer to where he works, too, since he’s a chef at the dining hall in Blackwoods. But he refused, every time. Said no, like it was final.
Three months after I moved out, he ended up taking a job as a live-in assistant chef for a wealthy family out in Palm Hills—the same gated community Alex’s family lives in. Palm Hills is about forty-five, maybe fifty minutes away from the city, so now I only see him on weekends, the only days he’s not working.
And, of course, it doesn’t stop there. The family Tyler works for? They’re related to Alex’s. Did I see that coming? Yeah. I did.
I shake my head at that thought and pull out my phone, thumbs moving automatically.
Lucas:I'm done. Now let
me see you please….
I add a crying cat GIF for dramatic effect before hitting send. His reply comes instantly, and it’s a GIF of The Rock saying “finally.”
A laugh bursts out of me, earning a weird look from someone passing by.
My Alex:I still have a meeting to attend
I’ll come pick you up at your place when
I’m done. Do you want me to order food
For you right now? Are you hungry?
Lucas:It's okay. I still have one plate
Of the shrimp fried rice that you sent
Yesterday, and there is only one left
because Maksim and Igor came over
this Morning and emptied the fridge.
My Alex :Face palm GIF.
I’ll see you in a few hours
Krasivy. Drive home safe.
I’m smiling at my screen, about to reply, when I hear someone call my name. My steps falter, brows pulling together as I turn. A guy is walking toward me, his smile small, nervous, like he’s not sure if he should even be doing this. I recognize him vaguely—one of my classes, maybe two.
“Sorry,” he says when he stops a few feet away, shifting awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to yell your name like that. I just… wanted to catch up before you left.”
I stare at him, caught off guard. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out.
He’s never spoken to me before. And it’s not like I talk to anyone here anyway. A few classmates, sure—mostly the ones from my project group, but that’s about it. Not pride. Just… somewhere along the way, I forgot how to be social. Fifteen-year-old me would’ve had half the hall as friends by now.
He clears his throat. “Um… how were the exams?”
