And that’s what breaks me.
My limbs jerk back to life, clumsy, automatic. I stumble toward the back of the treehouse and come to a halt because there are no steps, just the balcony.
I blink through tears, through pain, through the chaos in my head. My jaw still burns. My throat still aches. I can barely stand.
I look down.
The drop is high. Too high for someone like me in this state.
I hesitate.
I can’t. I can’t—
But I feel their presence. They’re close. I feel it in my bones. In everything they did to me, their presence feels like a pain in my gut and almost makes bile rise to my throat.
Panic swells like a tidal wave, crashing over me.
I’m going to die here.
Tyler’s voice, again, loud and angry this time, fills my head, “JUMP!”
So I do.
The fall knocks the breath from my lungs. I hit hard, my ankle twisting with a sickening snap that sends white-hot pain tearing up my leg. I bite down on a scream, the taste of iron flooding my mouth, tears blurring everything.
But I don’t stop.
I limp. Stumble. Then run.
I run into the trees like a madman, all the survival instinct I have in me pushing me forward.
FORTY-FIVE
ALEXANDER
I slam the laptop shut.
My breath comes out harsh and uneven, chest rising and falling like I’ve just been punched in the gut. My throat burns, and I can taste bile rising. I push up from the chair, my body shaking with something I can’t name, rage, grief, something darker—and I stumble toward the bathroom attached to my office.
I flick the tap on and just stand there, staring at the water like it might drown the thoughts screaming in my head. But it doesn’t.
The fucking video keeps playing. Over and over and over as it burns into the back of my mind like a brand I’ll never scrub off.
Nothing… nothing could’ve prepared me.
Not for the way they dragged him.
Not for the sound his head made when it hit the bench.
Not for the scream he let out or the ones he swallowed back.
Not for how small he looked… how alone.
How hard he fought.
God—how he fought. Even when his voice was gone, even when his strength gave out, he didn’t give them the satisfaction they needed.
He didn’t even scream the way he should’ve.
