His voice cracks on the last part, and I feel it like a punch to the gut.
“Is it too much for you?” His voice breaks, shaking with everything he’s trying not to feel. “Are my problems too much for you now? You can’t stand them anymore, can you?”
I watch him, silent, heart tightening in my chest, waiting for him to let it all out.
“Well,” he continues, voice rising, frantic now, spiraling. “I told you, Alex. I told you from the start that I carry too much. I told you before you pushed your way into my life. But you didn’t care, you wouldn’t leave me alone.” His hands are trembling in his lap. “And now… now there’s nothing I can do about it because I’ve let you in. You’re in, Alex. I hate it, but it’s all so fucked up that I depend on you now. I need you — emotionally and physically. And if you leave me, if you decide you can’t handle it—I swear to God, I might just throw myself off a fucking cliff.”
It all comes out in one breath. One long, breaking wave of panic and honesty and ache.
I blink, stunned for a second.
His eyes go wide in horror at his own words. Then, like instinct, he slaps a hand over his mouth and reaches for the car door handle with the other.
He’s trying to run.
A soft laugh breaks from my chest. Not because it’s funny, but because he’s so Lucas. Wild, honest, ridiculous, beautiful.
Before he can open the door, I grab his arm gently but firmly.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” I ask, giving him a look.
He turns back to me, cheeks flushed and eyes throwing sharp daggers. “Anywhere I don’t have to see that annoying face of yours.”
“Oh, it’s annoying now?” I raise an eyebrow, smirking as the tension shifts slightly, becoming something quieter, warmer. “That’s funny. You said it was hot once.”
“Yeah, well, I changed my mind.”
I lean in slowly, hand lifting to trace the edge of his jaw. His breath stutters. My thumb brushes the corner of his lips, and he shivers. He licks his lips, and my gaze dips, helpless. Those lips. Full, soft, and dangerously tempting. A flicker of heat coils in my gut.
Fuck, I want to kiss him. I want to taste him until he forgets why he was mad. I want those lips wrapped around my cock to see just how much he can take.
But then I catch myself, because I know what I’m thinking. And I know where it’s headed. And I know his boundaries. He’s told me what he can’t do, made it clear that he wouldn’t be able to do that. And I swore I would never push him past what he’s ready to give. I would never make him do something he’s not comfortable with.
So I rein it back in.
“Alex…” His voice is quieter now. Fragile. But it’s thick with something else—need.
My eyes lift to his again, and the way he’s looking at me… like I’m the only thing anchoring him to earth… It makes my throat tighten.
A current rips between us, hot and breathless.
My cock jerks in my pants, like it can sense his need, like it responds instinctively to the way he’s unraveling right in front of me. But I don’t let it take over. Not yet.
“You’re not too much,” I whisper, my voice barely above a breath. “You’ve never been too much for me. If anything… I want everything you keep buried inside you, every fractured thought, every scar, every part of you you’re afraid to give.”
His eyes glint in the dim light, searching me, like he’s still looking for proof, still unsure why I’ve been holding back, why I keep stopping us from going any further.
“You tried to use sex to forget,” I say quietly, not accusatory, but honest. Because I need him to understand why I stopped, why I had to stop.
His brows pull together, confusion flickering, then slowly, realization seeps in. I see it settle over his face: first denial, then a flicker of guilt.
“No, it’s not like that…” he says quickly, shaking his head as his eyes dart away from mine.
I gently but firmly cup his face, not letting him turn away.
“Is it not?” I ask, voice low and serious. “Lucas… I would never sleep with you if you’re just trying to disappear. If you’re using it to block out whatever’s going on in your head.”
His breath catches, chest rising and falling a little faster now.
