Then I do.
But it’s not enough.
“Go home,” he says quietly. “Shower. Sleep. You’ll think clearly in the morning.”
I don’t move. My jaw locks tight, throat burning.
And then I say it.
“I don’t know how I’ll feel if he’s not there anymore.”
The words fall from my mouth like stones. It’s heavy, sharp, and dangerous.
The air goes still.
Maksim lets out a low whistle. “Damn.”
“Don’t,” I snap, eyes flashing to him.
“I’m just saying,” he replies, an annoying tease to his voice. “You’re standing there, bruised, feelings like a fucking movie villain in his redemption arc. It’s giving a tragic, obsessive antihero.”
My hand twitches like it wants to break something—preferably his face.
“I’m trying to lighten the mood, man.” He grins, but it fades when he sees I’m serious. His voice shifts, quieting. “You think he’s gone?”
Viktor exhales and gives me a grounding look.
Because he knows how serious this is for me, if Lucas ever looked at me again like I was something he needed to run from—I don’t know what would be left of me after that.
THIRTY-FOUR
LUCAS
I’m on the floor, knees pulled tightly to my chest, back pressed to the huge couch in Alexander’s living room like it might hold me together if I push hard enough. My arms are locked around my legs, my fingers digging into the fabric of my pants. If I let go, I’ll fall apart completely. It’s a position I stay in to anchor myself when I am deep in thought and trying to help my brain relax.
I Keep glancing at the clock.
Again. And again.
My eyes sting every time I check and see that he’s still not here.
3:18 a.m.
3:22.
3:30.
A breath shudders out of me. My throat is tight, like I’ve been swallowing tears without realizing.
God. He left, and I don’t know where he went. I don’t know when, or if he’s coming back. All I know is the look he gave me before he walked away haunts me.
That look.
I didn’t think someone like him could wear pain like that. Not Alex, the man with the cold blue gaze who doesn’t make empty threats or promises.
But I saw it, I saw the hurt, and it broke me.
He looked at me like I was the one person who could ruin him. And I did.
