Then I turn around, walking the narrow corridor to my room. Every step feels loud in the quiet. My feet are heavy, my body tight. I can feel him behind me—close, close enough that the space between us hums like a live wire.
I reach for the doorknob. my hands trembling
And still, I don’t stop.
***
It feels surreal having Alexander in my room. He looks too big for the space, too sharp and powerful for the soft, quiet world I’ve built here.
My room isn’t much—just a small bed pushed against the wall, the green sheets neatly made, a knitted blanket folded at the edge. My desk is cluttered with scattered textbooks, and a small shelf holds stacks of romance books. Pastel fairy lights droop lazily along the wall, beside a poster of Lana Del Rey, another of Conan Gray, and a few of my favorite band—BTS. By the window sits my cactus, a stubborn little thing that somehow keeps living despite my neglect.
I tried to make the space livable and warm.
Alex doesn’t say anything as he scans the room. His gaze is calm, thoughtful, but something darker lingers behind it.
Then, without a word, he walks to the chair at my desk, turns it slowly, and sits, sprawling a little, like he owns the entire place. He looks up at me. That voice of his, deep, smoky, and so dangerously soft, cuts through me.
“Come here.”
The command in it makes my butterflies dance in my belly. But I freeze. I don’t move at first. His head tilts, just a little, his eyes narrowing. He doesn’t need to say anything else.
I bite my lip, nerves fluttering violently inside me, but I walk to him slowly, every step tugged by gravity and heat. When I’m standing in front of him, heart slamming, he speaks again—lower, rougher this time.
“Spread your legs. Sit on my lap.”
My breath stumbles. I stare at him for a second, shocked and burning, but then his hands slide to my waist before I can even fully obey, and he pulls me gently forward.
My knees part and I ease down onto him, straddling his lap, my legs on either side of his thighs. My hands grip his shoulders instinctively for balance. His scent surrounds me, so intoxicating that it makes my head spin.
His palms press to my waist firmly, and the feel of his hands on my bare skin sends shivers all over my body. He drags me closer, slow but deliberate, until our hips meet. My breath catches in my throat.
His touch isn’t rough… but it’s purposeful. Possessive.
And I feel everything.
My face is burns and I can’t look at him. But I feel his gaze on me like fire, like he’s memorizing how I fall apart without him even doing much.
“I’m sweaty,” I whisper, barely able to breathe.
“That’s the least of my worries,” he replies, his voice low and velvet-smooth, the kind of tone that makes everything inside me tremble.
Having him here, in this small corner of my world, does something to me, something warm and dangerous that sinks deep into my chest. I missed him. Hell, I missed him so much it aches, and it’s stupid, really, because he’s not even mine. But I’m glad he’s here, even if my heart doesn’t know what to do with him.
“Look at me, Lucas,” he says softly, his fingers lift my chin steady, gentle, but unyielding.
And I do.
I look into his intense blue eyes, and it’s unbearable—how he looks at me like that. Like I’m something rare. Like I’m something that matters. His gaze holds me together even as it threatens to undo me.
“I don’t like it when you avoid me,” he says, voice low. “You really love keeping me on edge, huh?”
I bite my lip and shake my head, heat blooming in my cheeks. His thumb brushes my jaw, slow and grounding, and his eyes don’t waver.
“After what happened Sunday morning, I thought you’d be mad at me,” I murmur, voice barely above a whisper. “Are you… not?”
“I was never mad at you, Lucas,” he says, and there’s no hesitation, only a quiet kind of truth in his voice. “You have every right to stop anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“You don’t make me uncomfortable,” I say too quickly, and the words catch in my throat, but I don’t stop. “Not really. I mean, I just… I’m sorry. If I said things harshly. I didn’t mean to push you away like that.”
