My stomach rolls with acid,
my breath bottoms out,
my eyes blurring out of focus.
My whole system was built to keep myself from being disposable. And now I’m standing here anyway, number three-hundred-fifty-one.
I move around him.
He moves faster, cutting me off.
“Please—Sonny, don’t.”
“Not like this. Not again.”
He lifts both hands,
not sure what to do with them, but still tries.
And it stops me.
Because it reminds me
nobody’s ever tried but him.
I’ve stood in too many doorways,
watching backs walk away.
Never thought anyone would block the door to get me to stay.
A short breath falls to pieces as it leaves him.
“I—I swear to God, I’ll chase you, Sonny.”
He steps closer, eyes locked on mine.
“You walk away from me again?
“I’m chasing you.
“And I’ll keep fuckin’ chasing you.”
He points out—somewhere, nowhere, eyes squinting. “Through the city. Through New York. Through all this bullshit. Through our pasts. Through twenty-eight nights. ‘Cause I already did it. Don’t think I won’t do it again.”
His arm falls, voice cracking.
“You walk now? I’m chasin’ you.
“However many nights it takes this time.”
His breath’s on hold. His pulse, too.
All of it waiting on me.
I tilt my head. “You’re gonna chase me?”
I say it as if I don’t believe him,
