but they all spill anyway.
“It’s easier when people don’t talk back, so I wasn’t stalking you, swear. I was here first. Then you showed up… And then I was… stuck… on you. Because I was watching you… and there was this peaceful…calm?Like you’re woosah.”
It comes out with uncertainty.
Because he won’t understand.
His smile fades slow,
collapsing under something bigger.
I should look away. But I don’t.
I should leave. But I can’t.
“What I mean is,
“it’s not just that you’rewoosah.
“It’s that I can finally take a deep breath.”
A smile almost rises again in him.
But it stops in his eyes,
getting stuck there for being too real.
I tuck my hair behind my ear,
then gesture to him. “What I’m trying to say is I had no desire to turn you into anything or build a version of you in my head as I normally would…"
I shrug.
“Because I liked you how you already were.”
His mouth parts
like he wants to speak,
but can’t.
Guess I used up all the words tonight…
“Wow. Shit. Okay.” I laugh.
“So… yeah.
“I’m way past due on walking away.”
My gaze slips past him,
the thought gut-punching me.
“But I don’t want to. Which is fuckin’ weird.”
Yo—just toss me the straitjacket.
I’ll put it on myself.
