with the nightsky in his eyes?—
stripped bare, wide open, and warm.
“Don’t get me started on the rest of it. That shit’s brilliant, Allison. Do you know how many artists are able to pull off a true quadruple entendre even once in their career? You impress me...
“But it fuckin' hurts, you know that?”
Then he notices how I’ve gone still.
He notices before I do, my body frozen,
my heartbeat shoved into my throat,
vision shot, everything blurring.
He draws closer. “You don’t gotta say a word, alright? I’m not askin’ you to talk about it. I’m only breaking it down for you because… I just—I need you to know that when you send mesomethin’ like that? Yeah, I’m gonna sit with it. I’m gonna give a fuck. That’s all I’m sayin’.”
His hands rub together to ground himself.
“I don’t fuck around when it comes to you.”
Then his eyes drift between mine,
holding my gaze, anchoring me here.
And there’s a stillness now,
a comfort that’s settled.
The silence decided to sit down with us instead of stand in the way.
Andrew hangs his head, watching his thumb dig deeper into his palm between his spread knees.
Then he looks up at me, throat bobbing.
“You happy, Sonny?”
First I blink.
Then I glance off,
pretending I didn’t hear him.
Inside, I do. I hear it echo,
louder inside than it sounded out loud.
“Please—I’m not askin’ to judge it. I wanna know.” He’s watching me, studying my features, my every reaction. “This setup you got—Ben, the rules, the contract, all of it. Are you happy in it? This what you want? Someone on standby instead of someone beside you?”
Happy?
Are people actually walkin’ around out there happy all the fuckin’ time?On this planet? In this economy? With this generation?
Then my throat tightens.
A sting blooms behind my lids.
My eyes are watering again
