Air floods my lungs.
Thoughts run into each other.
My name jumps back into my mouth.
Everything comes back at once.
I push off the bed,
my legs threatening to buckle,
my bones like sludge, forgetting I live here.
I grab my robe from the floor
and pull it on fast,
wrapping it around me tight
as if it can protect me.
I avoid his gaze.
Get away. Hide. Bathroom.
Shut the door. Lock it. Turn fast.
My knees hit tile,
my hands scrambling for the toilet seat,
and I vomit,
violent,
purging from the marrow.
My whole-body trembles,
heaves, as I try to get rid of it all?—
his hands, his breath,
his dick,
his tongue,
my own skin if possible.
Nothing’s left inside me,
but I keep gagging anyway.
Shame tastes like acid at the back of the throat
and never leaves easy.
I twist the shower knob and step inside
