“Touch grass.
“Hug a hydrant.
“Pet a rat.
“Lick a goddamn tree.”
The silence following sits in front of me
and stares.
Her next words come quieter,
“You don’t have to tell him everything tonight.”
“I know.”
“But you can’t keep actin’ like it don’t exist.”
I pull a sweatshirt out of the closet,
look it over,
and toss it back in.
“I’m deciding how much I actually like him.
“Whether I’m okay with ruining him or not.”
Another pause lingers loudly.
Celie sighs. “You don’t ruin people, Allie.”
Those words slip right to my chest,
and I close my eyes.
“Just chill tonight, aight?” she says.
“It’s your first real date. Like, ever.
“You deserve to have a good fuckin’ time.
“And maybe he ain’t the guy you hyped up in your head. He could be weird as shit when he gets comfortable. And if he is? Fuck it. Call it a one-and-done and dip.”
I pet a cashmere sweater that ended up in my lap. “Okay,” I say. “You’re right.”
She continues—“And if he pressures you,
“if he says some dumb shit,
“if you start spiraling.
“If you accidentally murder him, and need me to help dismember and hide the body?—”
“I know,” I mutter.
“Text 1 if I need a fake pregnancy scare to bail me out.
