Page 204 of Call Me Baby: Side


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Guess twenty-eight days was all it took for the fantasy to crack.

A couple of hours of real conversation and

ta-da?—

he realized what everyone eventually does:

The dream girl’s an idiot.

She’s all mouth, no mind.

Good for a few orgasms, that’s it.

I set the phone face-down on my thigh

and tell myself I don’t care.

This is good. It’s for the best.

The healthiest route for everyone.

A crackle comes through the earpiece.

Then Celie’s voice slams into my eardrums:

“He wore the blue shirt. Lord, take me now, Ilovethe blue shirt.”

Her breath catches, all dreamy and doomed.

“What you think that means?”

I rub my temples.

“Don’t overanalyze everything. Just breathe.”

Superb advice, coming from someone who’s building an entire conspiracy theory on why Andrew hasn’t texted.

Maybe I talked too much.

Maybe I laughed too hard.

Maybe I fucking farted without realizing it?

Yeah. Maybe I blacked out mid-conversation

and ripped one.

“Drake!” she says,

all cracked-out Christmas cheer.

“You’re here. Breathing. Alive.

“Still handsome. Good job.”

Drake’s voice cuts through.

“So. We doing this, or…?”