How bad I needed
to be seen without being touched,
held without being taken apart,
loved without being used.
Now I’m staring at the one guy who could’ve taken everything he wanted.
And he still saidnoto taking just my body.
Saidnoto fucking the night down
into nothing worth remembering.
He saidnoto protect it all along.
For the both of us.
God—he saw me that night.
And I fucking left
as if I wasn’t starving for that exact thing,
like I haven’t been slowly bleeding out for it.
I take one step.
Then another.
The unlit cigarette falls from my fingers.
And I keep going.
Until I’m crossing the street.
I’m halfway there
when the memory chases me.
The look on his face before I walked out the door…
I glance back.
And it’s a mistake.
He’s standing there, shoulders hunched,
leaning against the brick,
one arm crossed over his chest,
the other fist pressed to his mouth,
trying to hold back his heart,
words,
