And I know in that moment?—
this is the kiss that ruins me.
He’s delivering the killshot,
and it cuts me open on the way in,
leaves the blade behind.
It’s too late.
I’ll feel this one in every sleepless night. In the seconds when something's not right. In all the places I swore were locked up tight. And I already know it won't matter how many days go by,
I’ll still fucking feel it,
right in the hollow it will leave behind.
I break away before it kills me.
He pushes my hair back.
“Be straight with me. Right now,” he says. “This still only one night for you?”
He braces his arm above me,
catching my hand with the other.
“I don’t wanna stop…
“but if you walk away?—”
He stops himself.
“I—fuck, I don’t know how to say this.”
He laughs breathless, humorless.
“It’s hittin’ me now…
“I could keep goin’. God, I want to.
“But if I do, and you still walk away?”
He squints—“It’s not just me that’ll break. It’s everything we just had. We keep goin’, and you dip out? It’ll turn into any other night. And this deserves more. We both do. So please—I need to hear you say it again. That it ends tonight. 'Cause if so? I gotta stop here. I can't?—”
Christ. I said one night.
You fuckin’ knew that.
The room spins, making me nauseous.
I can’t look him in the eyes anymore.
I feel sick.
If I open my mouth, I’ll either vomit,
cry,
