Julian grabbed Beck by the throat and walked him backward until he was pinned against the fireplace wall. His silver eyes watered. Metallic tears. It was the first time I’d seen him snap since I’d met him.
Zephyr stepped up, laid a hand on Julian’s shoulder, and whispered in his ear. Phoenix stood waiting, knowing, as though Zeph had the power to dissolve just about any situation.
As soon as Zephyr took a step back, Julian dropped Beck and wiped a palm down his face. He gripped his sides. “Just say it,” he whispered, a plea. “Fuck the moral code. You have to tell me, brother.”
“It’s not Fallon, all right?” Beck said, words tight in his throat. “It’s you.”
CHAPTER 48
STONE
Night devoured the Norse Woods,cloaking it in utter darkness, while the canopies above kept out the quarter moon’s light. All we had to navigate the woods was sheer memory and determination.
The snow smothered the sound of our footsteps, leaving only the whispers of nocturnal ghosts moving through the trees.
Julian hadn’t spoken to us since we’d left Goody Estate. Though I could hardly see his face, I could feel the anxiousness stir in his chest, drain from his soles, and vibrate under my feet. How does one handle the details of their own death? Though, if he were anything like me, Julian Blackwell was agonizing over the thought of Fallon knowing. How he should tell her, if he should tell her, how to leave this world behind when he’d just promised her forever.
“Don’t tell her,” I answered even though he’d never asked, my voice low, careful not to disturb the spirits. “If it were me, I would not tell her.”
Julian’s silver eyes found mine in the dark.
“The time of your death is still unknown, Julian, as it is for the rest of us. I could die tomorrow, or Fallon the day after that. We should spend each and every day as though there won’t be another because it seems foolish, doesn’t it? Wasting our time counting down the time?” I ducked under a branch. “I know Fallon. I’ve known her since she was a little girl. She’s never cared for anyone the way she cares for you. She will spend the rest of your days trying to find ways to save you.”
“Stone,” Julian said, grabbing my arm to stop me. The others kept walking, and Julian waited until they were out of hearing distance. “I want you to promise me that once I’m gone, you will not bring me back.” He turned to look at the guys, their backs descending farther. “No matter what they threaten you with, no matter if Fallon is on her fucking knees, do not bring me back. I refuse to exchange my life for someone else’s. I would never be able to forgive myself. Do you understand?”
Julian laid a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. “And if you do bring me back, you have better found a way out of Weeping Hollow because I will come for you, Danvers. I will come for you, sever your hands, and hang them from the gazebo in Town Square. That way you’ll never be able to use them again. Not to play Russian roulette with lives. Not to touch Adora. And not to beat your fucking meat after she marries that prick.”
I grabbed Julian’s shoulder as he had grabbed mine. “Self-centered, are we?” My gaze slid between his as I squeezed his shoulder. “The thought of bringing you back has never crossed my mind, not even if the Heathens threaten me, not even if Fallon is on her fucking knees because it’s not you who must live with the choices that I make, Julian. I’m the one who must live with them, as I am living with Winta’s death on my conscience at this very moment.”
“What’s with all the negativity, guys?” Beck asked, appearing beside us. “Can we get on with it? We’re wasting our time out here freezing our asses off, when there are lives to save and Shadows to kill.”
Julian and I let each other go and joined the others, who were waiting outside an iron gate closed by a lock and chain. On the other side was what Beck had once called a carnival. I’d been here once before, when the Heathens had dragged me from the barn and through the woods, which seemed so long ago.
Zephyr pushed open the gate. It creaked as it swung out, the wind taking it the rest of the way, and the woods opened up to a village-like area that had long since died.
As we began the walk down the path, rotting stalls lined the way on each side like a graveyard. Every winter gust snatched up ripped tarps, and they billowed and slapped whatever they could—a hiss and a howl.
We had walked upon a clearing and stopped in the middle of it. Gloom hovered here like an ominous haze, a tell that we weren’t here alone. History had pressed itself into these grounds, these surroundings, compelling its ghouls and ghosts to sleep until they were called upon.
I dropped my head back, my gaze following the large circular object towering above that had to be at least two hundred feet tall. A sight I’d never seen before.
“It’s a Ferris Wheel,” Julian explained.
“Welcome to the carnival, Stone.” Phoenix raised his arms at his sides. “Where all the magic happens.”
“To call it a carnival would be deceiving,” Zephyr chided. “The gods know these grounds haven’t witnessed amusement in almost a hundred years.”
“The grounds witnessed your white ass fuck in that booth three months ago,” Phoenix reminded him. “I would say that would be enough amusement to last a century.”
Zephyr’s glowing eyes flicked skyward. “Yes, because meaningless sex brings us all great joy.”
Phoenix cocked his head. “I can’t imagine Zephyr Goody indulging in any other kind of sex.” He turned to Julian. “Julian, Beck, can you?”
Grinning, Julian shook his head.
“Meaningful … Ze-ze-zeph ...” Beck coughed. “My apologies. I suppose even the two words refuse to share the same breath.”
Zephyr exhaled. “Not that I have to justify myself to you three nitwits, but I do believe any man who doesn’t have a cock for a brain would prefer to choose their holes.” Zephyr gripped his hip bones, staring off as though he were remembering that night. “Not to mention fucking Francesca was torture. I had to imagine a sundae to reach climax. Chocolate ice cream, hot fudge, nuts, and all.”
