I stalled at all the words he’d said so easily. How could he declare all the secret and horrible things about me in only a few breaths and be able to say them passively without a stutter? Mother had manipulated me into being ashamed of it all, and he was speaking as if they were gifts.
“You know of my ... oddities?”
“Of course. I am your keeper.”
“Yes, you keep saying this.” There was one thing, however, about which he was utterly wrong. Adora once filled the void inside me, leaving me needing nothing more. With her, I’d found contentment. Happiness, even. But as of this moment, the void was a gaping hole, and I was confident nothing else could fill the grave she’d left behind. I missed her enough that she haunted my every thought, and I was desperate to know how she fit into this world he’d said I belonged to.
Then music bellowed in the distance, fading as it reached us like a song swaddled in a blanket. My attention turned to the direction in which it came. “Do you hear the music?”
“It’s New Year’s Eve, my boy. The whole town is celebrating in Town Square.”
If the whole town were there, that would mean Adora as well.
I had to send a message to her to let her know that I was still alive.
I jumped over the fence barrier, hearing Ocean run up from behind and stop at the fence line. “Dammit, Heathen, it’s not time yet,” he yelled, shaking his cane. “You can’t show your face in town.”
I turned with a cunning grin. “Oh, but my heroic keeper, if only looks could kill,” I jested, running backward with my arms up at my sides.
“He’s funny. Imagine that. The boy is funny.”
I turned again and sprinted into the woods as music arose. Not too deep, just enough to reach a clearing with trees surrounding me. I looked up, watching ashen clouds move past the night sky.
Ice-cold winds combed my hair and raked my scalp as it passed, taking all my lightheartedness with it. I crouched down and shoveled snow to the side until there was nothing but earth.
My palm pressed against the frozen dirt, and I shut out everything else in my mind, doors slamming shut until she was the only thing standing there.
The thought of her made my throat tighten and my vision blur.
My darling siren stood in the middle of a dark room, wearing her red dress and black lilies in her hair—a spotlight shone on only her. Perhaps the lighthouse beam.
My fingers curled into the soil, taking her hand.
“I’m so angry with you,” I finally said in a whisper, sniffling back the emotion and wiping my numb nose. “You hurt me more than anyone, and I hate you for it, but I’m still calling out to you to let you know I’m all right.” The tremor stirred, sliding under my skin and wrapping its arms around my ribs. I squeezed the dirt in my fist. “I’m pathetic for you, Adora. You’re in his arms right now, and I still want you. So, if you can hold on to anything, hold on to Bone Island,” I whispered into the air, letting the dirt slip between my fingers. “Remember Bone Island.”
Because if I had the chance to see her again, nothing would be the same between us.
I was always a Heathen, the monster she despised the most.
CHAPTER 38
ADORA
Ten minutes until the New Year!”Kane shouted into his cupped hands. He was standing atop the clock’s concrete foundation with an arm hooked around the pole, swaying back and forth. Flatlanders huddled together below him, but it did nothing to ease the cold as we all waited for midnight to strike in Town Square.
Storefront lights were out and the string lights draping from the eaves to the gazebo hadn’t dazzled above in weeks. Aside from the gas lamps lining the cobblestone walkways, night swallowed us.
Beyond the crowd, bodies spilled onto the streets and scattered in the grass. Shop owners stood on their stoops, watching the entertainment or preparing for mischief. Some townies were zoned out, staring at nothing, their expressions blank. Others were delusional, seeing things that weren’t there. Shoulder to shoulder, our bones shook in our thick coats, but we were awake.
The Shadows hadn’t taken a life in weeks. Safety could be on the horizon, but no one was willing to take the risk and sleep for longer than minutes at a time. If there was an opportunity to keep us awake and moving, we took it. This time it was New Year’s Eve.
Kane jumped down from the clock platform and landed ten feet from Cyrus and me. A grotesque grin stretched across his face, likely influenced by mermaid blood and caffeine as if he’d been injecting both straight into his veins for several weeks.
I couldn’t find the will to fake a smile, even for the boys’ sake.
Two days had passed since I’d last seen Stone. The image of him chained up inside the barn was a scar in my mind—a deep, brutal scratch from a poisonous claw. I spun the pearl bracelet around my wrist, pretending to be all together and not falling apart. It was a difficult task as the thought of Stone kept me unfocused, unfazed, unraveling, un-everything. And the last thing I wanted was to celebrate a new year he may never enter.
The thought alone ripped through my chest, and I looked at the ground to fix my face again.Only a few more weeks and Kane will be dead, and Mom will be awake,I reminded myself.It’s what you’ve always wanted. For it, you fought. For it, you sacrificed.So why, with every passing memory of Stone pressing into me from all sides, did it feel like all of it no longer mattered, and there was a chance I’d explode into a rage at any moment?
