But he wouldn’t stop. He wouldn’t even turn around. All I saw was the back of his head as he slipped onto the balcony and disappeared into the night.
My heart slammed as I pulled open a drawer and shoved on a pair of shorts. I swiped the keys off my dresser and didn’t bother with shoes. Disoriented, the only thing consuming my mind was Julian. I couldn’t let him go like that. I couldn’t let him do this alone.
As I rode down the streets, the cold was like ice against my skin. My hair smacked against my face, and I accelerated the gas, trembling and white-knuckling the handlebars on my way to the woods. Time was lost on me, somewhere between dusk and dawn—a time when the night crawled cold and strange creatures came out. But also, a time when Julian and I were able to burn so bright.
Street signs, buildings, and trees passed by me, and before I knew it, I’d reached the start of the woods. I slid off the scooter, dropped it to the ground, and took off running toward the tunnel of complete darkness, toward Julian.
My breathing was in my ears as my feet moved faster. The woods robbed me of one sense and heightened the others. Everywhere I turned was black. All I could hear was a mixture of my breathing and flapping wings and ravens crowing into the night.
“Julian!” I cried out as the wind hissed through the tree’s naked limbs. The forest was a backdrop of nothing, and I whipped my head and turned my body at every sound of the woods. My imagination began to run wild with horrors to fill the void, so I ran faster to push it away and fill my thoughts with him. “JULIAN!”
I slowed my pace and stood defeated, clutching my aching side for a solid breath, but every attempt pulled in a chill that only dried my lungs. My palms hit my knees as I heaved, my muscles sore, my feet raw. It felt as if I could pass out at any moment, but I still managed to pull myself together and straighten my back.
“I’m not leaving, you coward!” I called out to the woods, frustrated. “You’re always running and hiding. For once, could you man the fuck up and face me?!” I dragged in another breath and removed the white strands of hair sticking to my tears. “This darkness controls you, I know that. Idoknow you, Julian! For a long time, you were always a mystery to me, but I know you better than I know myself. We’re no different!” I paused, my throat still raw and my voice harsh, but I wasn’t giving up. After a few coughs, I cleared my throat, and continued, “You know why you love working on cars so much? Because it feels good to bring something to life when you’re surrounded by death, and if anyone could understand that, it’s me!”
A breathy laugh left me, and I pulled back my tears. “You got this song in your soul, and it’s so loud, I can hear it. And I know when you smile. You wear a mask, and you still tilt your head to the side when you smile because you don’t feel like you deserve to have it. But you do, Julian! I know when you’re anxious about something because you tap those stupid rings you wear against your thigh. And the way you hold all your thoughts in for so long and then blurt everything all at once in one breath with so much passion. I love when you do that! I know that you never know how to say the right thing, but you still say it because you believe it and stand by it, and you don’t care who it offends. Then other times, you say nothing because you want to say everything! I know that you are always trying to do the right thing even when it doesn’t feel right. And because we feel right when everyone says it’s wrong, it has you questioning everything!
“I know the way your body moves now, too. Your muscles twitch under your skin to run and run and run because it’s the only time you feel like you have control again. And I know you scream because it’s the only thing that helps you break free from what’s going inside you that no one else can see! You’re loyal to everyone else but yourself. But you’re a leader, Julian. You can do anything you want … save your coven, break this curse,anything!if you would just stop listening to them!
“And I know that wasn’t you back there, and I also know how scary that is when something’s got a hold on you because that’s what you have on me!” I screamed into the darkness, my voice slowly failing me. “I know you can hear me right now! After everything, I’m still here because I love you, you stupid jerk, and I’m not going anywhere,” the sudden confession struck me. “Why can’t you see that by now?!”
A cold front knocked the air from my lungs when I felt him behind me. And his breathing was like a heartbeat. His footfalls had fallen on deaf ears, but his presence was so loud and surrounding me now. I froze in place. My chest held, and I curled my fist at my sides to keep myself from falling apart.
“Julian, I—”
“You were wrong about one thing,” he said, his voice thick and his breath hitting the back of my head. “Screaming isn’t the only thing that makes me feel free.”
Emotion barreled through me. I squeezed my eyes shut.
Julian exhaled, and his frame pressed against me from behind. His chest was bare and brushing my back now as he moved my hair to the side.
“I’m so sorry,” he told me, fingering the strap of my tank and sliding it off my shoulder. He grazed his knuckles over my arm. “You love me?”
Nodding, I said, “Yes,” and he sighed.
Not growled. Sighed. Like it was something tragic yet inevitable.
He kissed my shoulder, and his lips moved up the length of my sore neck where his hand once choked me, and I sank into him.
Then Julian slipped something over my eyes—his mask—replacing the darkness with his own kind. I stilled, utterly dependent on him, yet trusting him. He was everywhere, a severe and passionate force of a shadow. Each one of my senses were engulfed by him.
Julian’s finger traced my jawline as he tilted my chin to the side, guiding my mouth to his, my entire body turning with it to face him. And through the opening of my split lips, his tongue slipped and filled me with his taste as he steered me backward.
My back slammed against a tree, and he yanked my shorts and panties down. I kicked them to the side, and a blast of cold hair rippled over my buzzing skin. Julian picked me up at the backs of my legs, and they clenched around his waist when he gave me his mouth again. A moan came from somewhere deep inside him and vibrated against my tongue. He was so intense and breaking apart, as if he were made of stardust in my arms. As if he were a product of the night sky, infinite and significant.Oh, how he was beautiful like that.
So, I kissed the night, got lost in his sky and suspended in his time. I kissed the darkness too, as if it was all I knew because it was a part of him.
My back slid against the rough bark as he ground my bare and slick core against the sliver of his tight stomach. “Julian,” I shuddered, my body pulsing with the foretaste of him.
“I know,” he panted.
All I could see behind this mask over my eyes were black shadows of him. I grabbed the back of his neck, dragged my nails through his thick hair, and a moan spurred from his chest. He kissed my throat, the soundtrack of him working his pants counting the seconds. When he released his cock, he wasted no time plunging himself inside me.
“Oh, fuck, Fallon.” He was breathless and in my ear, sinking his hands between my ass and the tree, grabbing hold, and thrusting himself deeper. A wave of tingles and heat charged from my core, up to my belly and made every blood cell come alive. “You’re right, we feel so right,” he confessed breathlessly, and I threw my head back against the tree when he slammed into me again, burying himself.
Our noses brushed when his mouth found mine, and he pinned our hips together and ground against me with him deep, driving me insane.
Therealof us all in the air now.
