“Ah, fuck,” I hissed and yanked my arm back.
“Julian?” Jonah barked.
I jumped to my feet and drove my boot into the wheel, kicking the bike out from underneath itself until it laid on its side. Plastic crunched, and parts flew upon impact.“WHAT?!”
“Where have you been? It’s been days! You missed the monthly Town Hall meeting Monday. People were outraged with the stunt you pulled during the Fall Festival, and it could’ve helped if you were there. Could have explained yourself! Then you leave me with a dead girl at the morgue, which, by the way, I can’t account for. I’m not your damn clean-up crew, Blackwell.”
I took off my hat, dug the heel of my palm into my eye. “I need air,” I muttered, exiting the garage and into the parking lot.
Black clouds moved furiously overhead, blanketing the town in a démodé grayscale—muted of color, muted of life. As of late, my days had been blurred. No dawn, no nightfall, an endless span of twilight. I pulled my shirt up over my eyes when Jonah’s hand gripped my shoulder.
“You love her, Blackwell?”
The question struck a chord, and my being froze in its afterword. I’d come from a breed notorious for being hollow, but the four-letter word was a poignant shot to swallow. After everything I’d done, I couldn’t possibly be capable of such a thing.
Perhaps I was in love with the feeling.
“Love?” Air blew from my nose, and I shook my head, remembering my father’s words. “Love doesn’t live here, only fear grows in Weeping Hollow. Love is a fool’s fantasy and a monster’s nightmare.”
For a Heathen, love was a curse all on its own. If I admitted to myself that I loved her, I would have no choice but to leave her. I turned my gaze down Seaside, watching as dead leaves tumbled down the empty streets of the late afternoon, wondering what would become of me if I had to keep my distance from Fallon. Aside from losing her, I couldn’t imagine a greater pain.I can’t love her.
“Something’s got a hold on me,” I confessed. “It’s only getting worse.”
“You’re being pushed and pulled and ripped apart from multiple directions,” Jonah said, and there was so much truth in his words. “The Heathens, the coven, the town, the Order, the darkness …” he took a breath, “And then there’s Fallon.”
And then there’s Fallon.“What do I do?”
“I can’t tell you what to do. You have to decide for yourself, but what I can say is that from experience, the fastest way to kill an addiction is by another. If you want to rid yourself of the darkness, you will have to hold on to the very thing that is more powerful than it, and let it take possession of you. Your soul has been dying to live, but fear is holding you back. It’s the most tragic thing I’ve witnessed, and that’s coming from a guy who owns a funeral home.” Jonah’s laugh was light and hardly made it to my ears before it died away. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his feet. “It’s not fair to anyone going on like this. You’ll have to choose. Her, or everything else.”
An exhale slipped from my split lips, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, nodding.
Jonah squeezed my shoulder. “And your silence tells me you’ve always known your answer.”
On Thursday morning, I stood against the brick between buildings, drinking coffee and watching Fallon through the window of The Bean as she smiled across from the Kenyan girl. Her smile painted my morning in colors I didn’t deserve, made them bright after the dreadful week without her. I liked her new company. I’d taken notice in the way she put more distance between herself and Sacred Sea, as well as fall into a routine here in her hometown. Fallon Grimaldi had always belonged here, the same way she belonged with me.
The past few weeks with her had taken my mind away from my responsibilities. Phoenix was right, but Jonah was right too. I’d chosen Fallon since I first laid eyes on her. But the only way to be with her in the way she deserved was to break the curse so the Order no longer saw me as a threat.
Fallon smiled on the other side of the window. Her hand covered her mouth, and I straightened my spine, stretched my fingers at my side. Heat waved inside me the same time the breezewhooshedthrough the alley, and the thing inside my chest cried—bled!
I’d never told her how beautiful I thought she was. How beautiful she was to me, it was disarming. I’d never told her all the things I should’ve said because I thought if I didn’t tell her, it would give me more time. And I was scared. I’d never been good at someone, and despite it, she always returned to me. Somehow, I was good at all things Fallon.
My gaze slid around Town Square, wondering if anyone noticed her the way I did. Kane and Maverick were walking on the other side of the gazebo toward Town Hall. Adora Sullivan stood outside the boutique’s door, waving at them as her eyes dragged around the square. Jasper Abbott was sprawled out on the lawn, looking up into the morning sky and speaking of banshees and sirens and old tales. The three old ladies sat over the benches before the gazebo, surely gossiping about Fallon still, or noticing River’s disappearance, forming rumors.
My eyes darted to Town Hall, where Mr. Pruitt chatted to an irate Irene on the steps, facing The Bean. In his shadow, Carrie Driscoll stood in a floppy woven sun hat, her eyes hidden behind large sunglasses. A selfish rage simmered just looking at her, the way she caught me with Fallon, the way she tore us apart.
Then her head cocked to me, and I slipped under the shadows.
Fallon
“It’s our favorite month of the year, and so the countdown begins. Twenty-two days until Samhain. This is Freddy in the Mournin’ with your Friday morning Hollow Headlines. And remember: dear, monsters, you are insignificant, only one in the infinite number of creatures. Hear me when I say, no one is safe after 3 a.m.…Owooooo!”Freddy howled, and I wanted to take my pen and shove it in my ear.
“Do you get trick-or-treaters?” I asked Gramps, sitting across from him at the breakfast table.
Gramps cackled, and my eyes snapped up to him. It was a strange laugh, one I’d never heard before, one I’d never expected to hear. One I’d probably never hear again. I smiled a real smile, the kind to burn my cheeks.
“Swipe that gigglemug off yah face … lookin’ like yah nevah heardah laugh b’for in yah life.”
I laughed harder and grabbed my mug that read,GOT THE MORBS, and brought it to my lips to hush it.
