“For a witch, they lock ‘em away in the cell for seven days. Weaken ‘em, leave ‘em alone with what they’ve done. Killin’ people, breakin’ the rules, it doesn’t mattah the extent of the crime. Balance and the safety of the town come first, ayuh. And on the seventh day, they walk the green mile to the Wickah Man, and the Ordah burns ‘em. Offahs his soul for the wrong-doin’s, askin’ the natural world for forgiveness. Bring balance back to the town and shield. If they don’t, the shield will fall.”
My eyes widened. My chest clenched. “They burned him alive?”
“You have to remember, by this time, he was already livin’ in that half-dead place. Seven days without food and watah, not much left of a man after that. And any last bit remainin’ is left on the green mile as they walk it. A man would only beg for the fiah to take him.”
“That’s horrible. It’swrong!”
Did Julian have to witness this? My heart ached at the thought. I shook my head, not understanding why Julian would go out of his way to see me, to be around me, to save me. Every time we were together was a risk, a death sentence.
I was just a girl, no one special. All thoughts led me to reasons I couldn’t understand. He already had to struggle with his darkness, and if anything happened to him, if the Order took him, I couldn’t bear it.
He was coming tonight, and the only right thing to do was push him away.
The rain worsened, and we escaped indoors. Drunk on moonshine, Mina Mae curled up on the sofa and pulled the quilt over her. She mumbled on about the Wicker Man, the Order, slurring words, her face twisting with anguish.
Once she was fast asleep, every step I took up the stairs was breaking my heart. It physically ached. Casper followed me up, and the creak of the floor mocked me.Please be there, Julian. Please don’t be there.I’ll have to make you leave. I want you to stay. My mind swirled with a selfish indecisiveness.What am I supposed to do? What’s the right thing, Julian?
I opened my bedroom door, and there he was.
On the other side of the French doors stood the silhouette of a mistake I was about to make.
My heart was like a somber bass, clapping against my ribcage with heavy and painful hits.
I closed the bedroom door behind me, keeping Casper on the other side.
The balcony doors swung open, and Julian turned in his black coat, black slacks, his white mask covering the top half of his face. Rain blew in from outside, his clothes soaked and freezing.
“Fallon,” he pushed out, shaking his head and coming at me in a rush. “Why would you ask?” He gripped the back of my head and pressed his forehead to mine, his fingers digging into my scalp. He was upset and desperate, pushing himself against me as if nothing was close enough. “Why do you always have to know everything? Why do you have to dig and dig anddig? I heard you down there. Knowing doesn’t help! It makes it worse!”
“You didn’t tell me how bad it could be. You didn’t tell me what they could do to you!”
“Every day in this curse is a prison! I’malreadyin prison, Fallon, but not with you. You have no idea what it’s like, what it’s been like before you got here. With you, I’m more myself than I’ve ever been. And I’d forsake everything and everyone just to be near you, don’t you get it?!” He rushed out in a single breath. My tears raced down my face as he was kissing me. “I’m going to break this curse. IswearI’m going to fucking break it, but don’t push me away before then!”
I shook my head, his lips on mine. “And what happens when they take you?”
“Then it was all worth it,” he said, walking me backward against the bed. “You wanted me to be real? Well, here you have it. I want you, and the rest doesn’t matter.”
My back hit the bed, and Julian slowed, unbuttoning my shirt and pushing it open. The cold slipped over my skin before his palm flattened against my stomach, slid up between my breasts. My lungs stretched, filled with air.
“Remember when we were in that train car?” he asked, and I bit my lip, nodding as my back arched into his touch. “Are you ready?”
“Yes,” I said, and it came out as mist.
His hand covered my throat. “Prove it.”
Our eyes locked, and for a moment, we stared at one another. Insecurities passed between us, but without hesitation, I abandoned mine. Julian’s hand fell from my neck as I rose from the bed and walked toward the balcony doors. The full moon hung high in the sky, and I turned to face Julian.
He stood there, watching me from the darkness. His silver eyes were so bright, so loud, as my shirt dropped to the floor. Then I took off my bra, one strap slipping over my shoulder at a time, and my heart was hitting so hard in my chest. My hair fell around my breast, covering me as I bent over to slip off my pants, my panties. From feet away, Julian’s heavy and heated gaze touched over my body until I was down to nothing. Just me.
And something came over me, a rush of adrenaline, a charge of excitement. Under the full moon, I’d become someone who was understood by another, someone who was undoubtedly accepted.
“Come here,” Julian said, his voice thick, and I turned to close the balcony doors, pulled down the blackout shades. For him, I erased every bit of light in the room so he didn’t have to hide—so Julian could be himself, so he could be himself with me as it was always meant to be.
Without warning, he approached me from behind, his pants grazed across my backside, the tips of his fingers against my neck. In the darkness, our pulses slammed, and mine quickened before his palm smoothed over my throat, my jaw.
“Are you afraid?” he asked me, and his palms moved down my arms, then up my sides. Unable to speak, I shook my head. I wasn’t afraid. I was only scared at the mere thought of him leaving, his hands not on me, his lips not on mine.
Julian gathered my hair in his fist and bound me against him. He nipped the rim of my ear, kissed the tender spot below it as his free hand flattened against my stomach. I became dizzy and weak and melted in place as his lips brushed across the length of my neck, his palm sliding up to cup my breast.
