A dark figure loomed over me, but I feared more from the state of paralysis I found myself in. Low hushing chanted in my ear followed by, “I’m right here.” My head knew it was Ethan, but my heart so desperately wanted it to be Ollie, and the part trapped in the stage of sleep couldn’t respond either way. The bed moved as the figure climbed in bed beside me.
My eyes finally opened and I instantly calmed, fusing to Ethan, thankful to be released from whatever hell I was slipping from. Ethan moved the hair clinging to my cheek as I turned to face him. “What was it about?” he asked, referring to my terror.
“I can’t remember. I can never remember.” I glanced up and found his blue eyes. They no longer held the electric I’d grown accustomed to. His static had faded, and he ran a palm down his face as if he read my mind. Inching away, I asked, “Where have you been the last couple of nights?”
He looked away, but slid that same hand over my hip and dragged me until my chest pressed against his, right where he needed me. “Things I had to take care of.”
“Right,” I said, dragging out the “I.”
“You’re shaking.”
“No, Scott,” I said through an exhale and flit my eyes to him. “That’s you.” One other time I’d seen him like this—shattered—and it was when Haden took his life. “You okay?”
“Let’s not talk, alright?”
“Why even come?”
“Do you want me to leave? Because I’ll go. Just say the words.”
Panic rose. I shook my head and grasped him tighter. Afraid to face the night on my own, I’d become attached to Ethan and the way he saved me from the terrors. Deep down, I wasn’t ready to let go. But I had to. The only way to get Ollie back was to let this charade with Ethan go. It had been going on long enough.
Biting my lip, I looked down as Ethan’s muscles twitched against me. He knew too. We couldn’t keep doing this. It wasn’t fair to anyone.
Ethan lifted my chin. “One more night.”
“And then we’re on our own?”
“And then we’re on our own.”
And we laid there as I stared into bright blue eyes until my lids grew heavy, surrendering to the depths of his ocean, knowing I was safe in his arms from terrors and the hell begging to suck me back in.
It wasn’t the sun that woke me, because it was still dark in my dorm.
What woke me was Ethan’s hand inside my panties and his warm mouth over my breast. My body arched and my eyes snapped open to see red wild hair and shoulders flexing in the dark. My tank had been lifted up to my neck, and eager fingers slid my panties to the side and rolled over my clit. A desperate moan vibrated from within me, responding to a touch I’d been craving for so long.
“Ollie,” I instinctively whispered as my body begged for more of what he was giving to me.
“No, Mia, It’s Ethan,” his voice thick and course, and his hard-on strained against his boxers, “and that is the last time you will ever call me by his name.”
Wet lips traveled up the center of my chest, across my collarbone and over my neck as he moved on top of me.
I didn’t want him to stop, and my hips matched every movement of his, wanting the same thing. But something inside me was screaming.
Inside, I felt sick.
But, still, I couldn’t find the will to stop.
Determined hands slid my panties off and pulled my legs apart, exposing me fully against the cold night air and his deep blue eyes. I watched as his eyes strayed and his hands roamed over my body. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to be with you,” Ethan whispered, then lowered himself on top of me until his forehead touched mine. His large erection pushed through the hole of his boxers and kneaded over my clit through every hungry grind.
Ethan’s lips brushed mine, and I turned my head to the side to avoid his kiss. “This is entrapment. It’s not fair,” I tried to get out, but I still couldn’t control my hips as his cock slid through my center teasingly. “We can’t do this.”
“We’re already doing this.” His fingers traveled down, and he dipped a finger inside me. My hips involuntarily rocked against each satisfying thrust. “You want this too, just let it happen, Mia,” Ethan breathed into my ear.
My head snapped forward. It was the first time he had said my name since we met. “It can’t go further than this.”
“Kiss me,” he argued. I shook my head, and Ethan growled, picking up his pace. He added another finger as his hard shaft grazed through my wetness and crashed against my needy clit each time. Every brush of his lips against my neck, every thrust of his hand, every knead of his cock pushed my body closer despite the hard fight within my soul.
Ethan’s lips inched closer to mine, and again, I shifted my head, causing his lips to graze my cheek. Frustrated, he picked himself off me.
