Ollie.
“WHY THE FUCK did I tear this up to begin with?” I mumbled to myself … to Zeke … to the heavens above … to whoever would bloody listen. I kneeled on the floor over the edge of the mattress, sprawling the pieces out in front of me. The small and flimsy pieces slipped through my fingers as Mia had.
My brain, heart, and body are—for the hundredth bloody time—fighting against each other, yet she was the one slipping now.
I had to fix this. I needed to fix this.
I can’t have her lose her fucking grip herself.
“I gotta fix this, mate. I have to,” I said, and Zeke tossed a tube of glue over the mattress before me.Glue?I jerked my head in his direction, snatching the glue and holding it up between us. Controlling my breathing, I pushed my anger to the side knowing he’s only trying to help. “Where did you get this?”
Zeke shrugged and signed some words.
“I didn’t know there was a craft room here.” Turning back to face the broken pieces, I tried gluing two small bits back together. Impatient for perfection, and only wanting to see it sitting together before me once more, I pressed them together between my thumb and my forefinger, only to have them split into two soggy pieces and tearing upon pulling my fingers apart. “Bloody hell,” I scoffed, swiping an arm across the mattress, shoving the scattered paper in all directions. I fell backward onto the floor and dropped my head in my hands. “She’s right, mate. I don’t think I can fix it this time.”
A warm hand landed over my shoulder, and Zeke shook me. Glancing up, I met eyes with him as he signed,You’re Mia and Ollie. Never broken,only bent.
I tapped the side of my head. “I’m not right in the head. I’m fucked up. I can’t think straight, and I sure as hell can’t trust myself anymore. I’m only making matters worse for her.” Zeke’s eyes fell before his hand did, giving up on me too. I parted my mouth, choking back words I wanted to say, but couldn’t. They weren’t words intended for Zeke’s ears. They should be spewed in Maddie’s.
Maddie.
Pushing up off the floor, I brushed past Zeke and out the door.
Love and hate existed on the same thin line. Love is dangerous. Hate is nasty. But just like love, hate controls you—consumes you. Compels you to do things you would never do sober, and right now, all I wanted to do was banish the blame, beat it into Maddie. My heart screamed to stop, but my body moved forward to no avail, with only one objective.
I dropped a single nod in the security guard’s direction as I headed toward Maddie’s door. Using one knuckle, I knocked and leaned into the door to listen for movement.
“She’s not in there,” a whiney voice broke out.
Jerking around, Gwen came to a stop before me. Spearing a shaken hand through my hair, I lifted my eyes from her chest. “Where is she?” Gwen crossed her arms, only pushing her chest higher as her breasts spilled out of her shirt. My eyes darted down the hall then back to her. “Don’t make me ask you twice.”
“Oh yeah? Or what?” She laughed.I damn near hit her.
A woman.
No fucking control.
Settling for option two, I closed the distance between us and leaned into her ear, spinning my finger around a lock of blonde hair, and pulled—hard. “Do you really want to find out?” I whispered, and Gwen bit her lip, shaking her pretty head. The guard’s eyes fixated on us, waiting for something to go down—waiting for me to lose my shit. “Now I’m not in the fucking mood to play games. Where is she?”
“In the woods,” she uttered. “She’s with Bria.”
Dropping my finger, I took a step back. “Maddie’s with Bria?” Chuckling incredulously, I grabbed her hand and yanked her down the hall. “Prove it.”
Gwen didn’t argue. Once I knew she wouldn’t leave my side, I dropped her hand as we pushed our way through the double doors and outside under the cloud-covered sky. Long strides ahead, we made it halfway down the hill when Gwen stopped and pointed forward into the woods. “See, she’s right there. I’m not going with you.”
I scanned the woods, and turned back to Gwen, looking her up and down. “What don’t I know?”
“Nothing,” she barked, leaning into her hip and folding her arms over her chest, retreating. Cowering. “This is between you two. Leave me out of it.”
She wasn’t worth my time anymore. Brisk autumn air stirred around us, and I couldn’t help but notice Gwen’s nipples harden beneath her shirt as she looked around nervously. My knob pulsed to its own accord, and I wet my dry lips, hungry for a release that could never come because my heart was with Mia.
“Get out of here, Gwen.” I turned back around and continued my walk down the hill. The grass faded to leaves. The forest grew thicker. The day’s light around me dimmed from the branches overhead, darker and darker until I reached the girls.
Maddie had been my mistake, but girls with loose mouths should be punished. If anyone should have told Mia, it should’ve been me, and I had planned to tell her as soon as I deserved her again. Maddie stripped me of that option.
“Coming back for seconds?” Maddie chimed, causing past regrets to consume my memory—unwelcomed flashes of my fingers inside her, her toying with herself, me watching. But I didn’t stop my pace, eating away the distance between us like a cancer.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” Words flew out of me, and all I saw was blood-red. Bria took a step back with a wicked smirk stretching her face, and Maddie looked almost … scared? Maddie didn’t get scared. “What lies have you told?”
