I’d gone my twenty years without ever laying a hand on anyone, and in ten minutes I’d physically hurt the two people who ever cared about me. I knew what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop myself at the same time. There was an abundant amount of emotions hitting me at once, and the moment Ethan walked in and hit Ollie, he became an easier target to release seven months of the pure hell I’d been living in.
My hand swung at him, but he rapidly lifted his arm as a shield and took a step back. “Coward!” I yelled, taking another step toward him.
Ollie’s arm snaked around my stomach and dragged me away. “Stop, Mia. We don’t have time. I don’t have time.” He pinned me to his torso with one hand and walked me backward until my back hit the sink. Ollie’s other hand pressed the blood-soaked towels to his nose as his hips leaned into me, caging me in. “Listen to me. I don’t know how much time I have. We can’t risk either one of us going to solitary.”
“He punched you for no reason!” I looked around Ollie to face Ethan. “You punched him!”
Ollie pulled me back in front of him. His hand cupped my face to re-direct my attention. “I deserved that, love.”
“How are you back?” Ethan asked with nervous hands moving from his belt, over his stubble, then behind the back of his head. His face paled. I’d never seen him so bothered.
“Please, I need a moment with her,” Ollie stressed, leaning over until his palm caught the edge of the sink. I studied his stance. Sweat pricked his temples, his eyes strung out, and he couldn’t sit up straight. Something was wrong.
“You’re on your own, Jett,” Ethan shook his head, “Just know, I’m not picking you up this time.” He pulled the handle to the bathroom open hard enough to send the door flying against the wall.
Ollie looked down at me, his green eyes blazing, and his muscles tensed to control whatever thoughts strained his mind. “I would ask what that was all about, but I’m not sure if I want to know,” Ollie muttered, and dropped his free arm over my back to pull me close.
My arms wrapped around his torso. There was a slight tremor in his hand as he rubbed up and down my back. “You need to see the nurse, Ollie,” I tilted my head up to see his face, “You don’t look so good.”
Ollie shook his head as a student entered the bathroom, then his head rolled back as another girl followed in behind. Both student’s eyes swept over us briefly as they passed by.
“Come on, let’s go to my room before the auto-lock sweep.” He grabbed my hand and led me out of the bathroom and down the corridor through a crowd walking to their nightly shower routine. He approached my old room, and before opening, he looked down at me with the paper towel held over his nose. “Out of all the rooms here, they put me in this one.”
“You got my room?”
He nodded, then pushed the door open.
Stumbling, Ollie fell back against the mattress and tilted his head up over the pillow with a low moan. He waved me over to lay next to him. “Please, I’m going to pass out any second.”
This whole disposition wasn’t like him. “Are you sick? What’s going on with you?”
“I’m just not in a good place right now,”—he turned to face me— “Please, come here. The last thing you owe me is your forgiveness, but your distance is killing me worse than how I’m feeling right now.”
No matter how angry I was with him, my body wasn’t. Like a reflex, my feet move forward, my knees hit the mattress, and in no time, I melded to his side. He pulled the paper towel away and threw it to the end of the bed before swiping his fingers under his nose to see if the bleeding had stopped. When he realized it had, he turned over and nuzzled his face into my neck.
Though my brain hadn’t quite caught up fully on everything that just happened within the last twenty minutes, I finally let go of a breath. I was finally home. Though this home was different, yet all the same like a fresh coat of paint. My heart didn’t know the difference, but my hands ran through his sweaty hair and over his trembling skin. His shirt was damp while his breathing was shaky. “Are you on your medication?” I hesitantly asked, afraid of the next words he would say.
“I wasn’t then I went back on them today. It’s the withdrawals until they hit my system. I can’t think straight. I’m sorry,” his fingers dug into my waist as his body quivered through the dark spell, “I’m so sorry, Mia. I’m a bloody mess right now…” each word muffled by his refusal to leave my neck, “I don’t know what to do anymore.”
For months, I thought about the moment of us re-uniting, but being the one comforting him never crossed my mind. His hot body shivered in my hold, while his breath, lips, and sweat all soaked my neck. I rocked him as a soft and hardly inaudible mantra of “I’m sorry’s” flowed from his lips until he fell asleep. It didn’t take long, and after he was out, my own mixed and confused tears freed from their private prison.
I cried because he was back, and those happy tears mixed with the sad ones—sad ones because he was riding an emotional rollercoaster, and I knew from experience what it was like, but this was one I couldn’t fix.
If what he said was correct, it meant it was only a matter of time before he’d turn right back into the unreachable asshole who left me in the hallway seven months ago.
Zeke stared at me from across the table during breakfast the following morning. He seemed to be in a good mood, and I wondered if he somehow picked up on Ollie’s energy and knew of his return. I didn’t dare tell him—not yet, anyway. If Ollie was back to only leave at the hands of oblivion, I preferred preserving Zeke’s hopes.
In a year, our table had grown from only the two of us, to now Zeke, myself, Bria, Jake, and Tyler. Ollie used to sit beside me, and I wondered if he’d find his way back to my table or his old one which was now occupied by Maddie, Jude, and Gwen.
“You’re quiet this morning,” Bria said, sitting one chair over from Zeke. “Up all night again?”
I shook my head. “Surprisingly, I slept all night. First time in months.” And it was odd. For seven months, without fault, I’d woken from terrors without remembering what they were ever about. But the night of Ollie’s return, I slept peacefully. There was no such thing as coincidences.
“Then what’s got your knickers in a twist?”
Ethan’s gaze caught my attention behind Bria by the doorway, and he glanced away. “Nothing, just one of those mornings.” They would all find out eventually, hopefully after I’d come to terms with it. Returning my attention back to my uneaten tray, I wondered what this all meant when Tyler slammed her fist over the table.
“Dibs!” she shouted.
