Ethan scratched his cheek. “I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it,” a moment of silence drifted between the two of us, then Ethan’s rare smile slowly appeared, “So, we have a deal then?”
“This isn’t a deal. There are no deals between us. I need to know you’ll be there when I need you, and you know I’ll always help you,” I explained.
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
And just like that, we were back to our old selves.
“See you tonight?” Ethan asked, his rare smile relaxed.
“Yeah,” I wrapped my arms around his waist, “I’ll see you tonight.”
He kissed my forehead before we exited, and like clockwork, Ollie waited outside the classroom, only this time, Maddie stood in front of him in a heated conversation. His eyes found mine, and he straightened his back when he noticed Ethan behind me.
“Come on, love,” Ollie muttered, swinging an arm over my shoulder.
Maddie threw her arms in the air, bothered in the way he was leaving things. “That’s it, ya?”
Absentmindedly, Ollie continued his stride with me at his side. “What was that about?” I asked him.
“A bloke we used to know, the summer before you arrived, hung himself in the Looney Bin. I hadn’t seen him since that summer, but Maddie grew close to him during her visit in psych. She was just trying to talk to me, saying he wouldn’t do something like that.” His words were too casual. When Ollie talked about death, he spoke using his heart. These words weren’t coming from the Ollie I knew.
“Ollie,” I paused, moving my hand over his chest, “You can talk to me about it … If something is bothering you.”
“The only thing that bothers me is the way people talk about suicide and how it affected them. Are we so self-centered, that even in death, we selfishly cry for our losses, not once taking a second to think how much torture and pain the soul went through before deciding to end their life? It’s sickening … the silent cry for help no one responds to when the person needed it most. There’s never an action, only a reaction on this bloody earth. The moment someone speaks up about their internal pain, they’re shoved onto meds, counseling, and hospitals,” Ollie tapped his head vigorously, “because we don’t fit into their box and we’re fucking weak and lazy, yeah? How about alone and misunderstood!”
He took in a deep breath and stretched out his fingers at his side. “Alone, and the world shunned them to their darkness. And the world cries selfishly at their wake because the victim decided to find peace when everyone else tossed them into quicksand during a sandstorm. The world stands over their grave, spitting words like selfish … and ‘what about their family and friends?’ and we’re back to square one, thinking about how the death of the victim affects us.”
“Are you saying it’s okay to take your own life?”
“No, Mia,” he calmed and pulled my hand to his chest. “I’m saying if we showed more compassion and understanding, threw away the molds, boxes, and social status, it would never have to lead to that in the first place.” His eyes locked on mine, and the wheels turned in his head. “Now tell me, what did Scott want?”
“Time. He’s going through something and needs me tonight.”
“Is there something I should know about?”
“Ethan has no one, Ollie … except for me. I don’t exactly know what has him so messed up right now, but he’s only acted like this whenever a suicide had gone down. I’m sure seeing the bodies and taking the reports is enough to break someone.” If anyone could understand, Ollie would.
Ollie nodded at my side, and we picked up in a walk. “Ace, Scott. A fucking guilt trip,” he mumbled to no one and turned to face me, “I’m not your bloody owner, love. You do as you wish. You want to spend the night with another man? Go ahead, I’m not angry about it. I trust you. Will I be waiting for your return? Abso-fucking-lutely. Will I get you off before you go? Hell. Yes. I refuse to allow you to run off with Scott needy and without my cum inside you.”
My eyes bulged. “Ollie!”
During lunch, Lynch made an announcement over the intercom about another vigil held for a total of four lives stolen from Dolor: Livy from over a year ago, Haden, Chad, and now William.
Zeke tapped his finger on the table to get our attention.I miss Livy,he signed.
Tell us about her, Ollie signed back before grabbing my hand and falling back into his chair, keeping his attention on Zeke.
Strawberry-blondehair, Zeke’s lip twitched as his hands moved,Sweet, funny, Tommy and Livy. Big blue eyes. She was nice to me but didn’t take no for an answerlike Mia.
“She sounds like a nice girl. Someone hard to forget,” I said through a chuckle.
Tommy loved her. She said it was Tommy’s baby, Zeke signed. His hands dropped down, and we all waited to see what would come next—but nothing. That was where Zeke wanted to end his story. He picked up a roll and bit into it.
Ollie snapped his finger, bringing Zeke’s eyes back to him. “Livy and her baby are living in your heart. Once a soul touches you, it’s a part of you forever. Find comfort in that.”
Zeke’s eyes snapped wide, and the roll dropped over his tray.What about Tommy? He was good. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. Tommy’s alone in a prison cell. Tommy was nice to me. My brother. Tommy is my brother.
