Ollie moved the trashcan and let my hair fall before taking off his black shirt. “You think this is my first time seeing you vomit, Mia?” He smiled and took my face in his hand, wiping my tears and my mouth.
“I’m embarrassed for reacting the way I did. I should have never let her get to me.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t yank her by the hair and drag her across the floor.” He grinned. “You good now?” he asked, patting the trash can.
I nodded.
Ollie tossed his shirt across the room and climbed back over me. As he pulled the blankets around us, his scent and the covers both blanketed me. Calming. He intertwined his legs through mine and moved my hair off my neck before pressing his lips against my skin. “I can’t keep pretending, Mia.”
“Ollie …”
He pinned me to his torso. “No. What we have isn’t meant to be a secret.” He took my hand and brought it out in front of us before slipping one of his rings over my finger. “My promise to you, Mia. Whatever happens, it will never burn out, alright?”
Nodding, I laced my fingers into his and brought his hand close to my chest as Ollie burrowed his head into my neck.
I didn’t know much about love, but one thing he had taught me was to embrace it. Seize it as soon as it touches you. Drown in the feeling when it penetrates your soul. With love so deep, and a tomorrow never promised, every second in its brilliance was precious.
These were our moments that would fade into memories, and no one could take them away from us.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I knew it was forever
when I cherished our
conversation as much
as our love making.”
—Oliver Masters
TWISTING OLLIE’S RING around my pointer finger, I waited for him to stroll through those doors. Even though he’d put the ring over my ring finger, my thumb or pointer were the only two it didn’t fall entirely off from. I ran my thumb over the scroll of the ring, feeling its edges, its swirls, taking in its silver beauty with black lines. Intricate details. He’d never told me where the ring was from, or what it meant to him, but the fact his promise to me was now tied to the ring was all I needed to never be without it.
It was a Wednesday, and our last day before Christmas break. The professors left for two long weeks on holiday—but our Christmas would be spent on Dolor grounds. We were punished, not them. But a Christmas with Ollie was a far cry from a punishment.
In psychology, I sat in the back. As soon as Ollie entered the room, his smile sent a warming circulation within me. His hair grew longer, crazier, piling over his head. The lopsided wave transformed into a tsunami, but it only meant more for me to hold on to. He took his seat before Dr. Kippler arrived.
Dr. Kippler, disheveled and sloppy as ever, apologized for his tardiness like every day before.
There was no class after lunch today, only my counseling session with Dr. Conway. I wanted to trust her, but after what had happened with Maddie, I couldn’t bring myself to let my guard down again. Why would she make an exception for someone who isn’t assigned to her?
None of it made sense to me.
Jealousy.
I was jealous and territorial over my counselor. It sounded ridiculous, I know.“That sick feeling in your stomach, the knotted pit growing when you saw Maddie talking to me, or heard she got to Dr. C. That’s jealousy, Mia. Jealousy will destroy you if you let it,”Ollie had said to me.
Though I was considered an adult, the child who’d never gotten to live still resided within me. Having no experience with the multitude of emotions sweeping through me on a day-to-day basis had me questioning everything I thought I knew. All the research I’d done, now out the door.
When they were your own emotions, everything changed.
The halls were quiet as I quickly walked back to my dorm from Dr. Conway’s office. I took the stairs two at a time, rushing to get into my sweats, rushing to get to Ollie. We were almost finished withThe Notebook, and I would still agree to the fact I hated reading, but having him read to me had become my favorite part of my week—next to our sexcapades.
“Whoa, darling. Where you off to in such a hurry?” Oscar asked as soon as my foot came off the last step. His gelled hair was combed back as his dark eyes sliced into me, charring my bones to ashes.
“My dorm,” I said flatly, pushing past him. I’d been trying to avoid him since my return from the Looney Bin, but each time our paths crossed, his perseverance had only strengthened with time.
He snatched me by the arm and pinned me against the wall. What I wanted to do was backhand him, knee him in the groin, or call out for help, but he had me by my past. He gripped those threats tightly around my neck every chance he had.
