Ollie honed in on my expression. He knew me. He knew what I was thinking. “Mia, no …” He snapped his head to Maddie. “What did you tell her?”
“She told me enough,” I said, taking my books from him and walking away before he could stop me.
My eyes blurred while I made my way back to my dorm. As I locked the door behind me, my mind sprinted a million miles a second. It had been Ollie all along. Ollie was her boyfriend. Maddie’s boyfriend was Ollie. No matter which way I deciphered it, it still wasn’t making sense. My breaths ran closer together as I paced my room, running my fingers through my hair. This couldn’t be happening.
Then there was a knock at my door followed by Ollie’s urgent tone. “Mia, open the door.”
I stayed quiet.
“Mia, please …”
I shook my head violently as if he could see. The thought of his lips on hers. The thought of him inside her. It was all too much. My hand shot over my mouth to suffocate my cries as tears streamed down my face.
“Dammit, Mia. Please … let me in so I can explain.” There was pain in his tone, but I wasn’t a fool.
And eventually, Ollie left.
I curled up into a ball over the mattress and brought the sheet over my head, forcing my cries to put me to sleep. Sleep replaced Ollie as my new cure, because otherwise, the hot fury would only send my fist through something. And the only thing deserving to be on the opposite end of my fist was Ollie, but one more mistake and my ass would be on a one-way trip to the mental institution.
During dinner, Maddie sat next to Ollie with Jake, Alicia, Bria, and Isaac. She walked back into their lives as if she had never left.
“Funny thing about all this, Zeke, is I was supposed to be the sociopath.” I glanced up at Zeke as he ate his spaghetti. “But I guess Karma’s a bitch, right?” Pushing my tray off to the side, I lay across my hands and forced my focus in front of me, to Zeke. “Is this what jealousy feels like?” I sighed. “I must be mistaken because none of this is making sense. I’m jealous and overreacting. But what if I’m not, Zeke? What if this whole time he had a girlfriend and only used me as a distraction?” Zeke didn’t move—as always. “But he said he’s in love with me, so I must have it all wrong and Maddie’s fucking with my head.”
Zeke looked up at me. His small eyes dilated as he blinked a few times. I forced a smile over at him, almost wanting to reach out and put my hand over his. But I didn’t. Zeke didn’t like to be touched the majority of the time. I’d learned this the hard way.
The feeling of Ollie’s warmth behind me and his breath against my ear stunned me. “Meet me in your dorm. Two minutes,” he whispered.
“No, Ollie.”
Ollie growled. “Dammit, Mia. If I mean anything to you, you’ll come.” He took a few steps away, paused, then turned back around. “Close your eyes, Mia.”
But I didn’t, and Ollie hung his head and walked back toward me. He planted his palms over the table and leaned in to capture my eyes with his in a plea. “Please, don’t do this …”
I closed my eyes and counted to ten because even though I was upset, I still couldn’t watch him walk away from me.
After he was gone, I opened my eyes and groaned. “If I have to hear one more ‘Dammit, Mia’ I think I will scream,” I said to Zeke, each word increasing in volume, but Zeke sat there stunned by Ollie’s swift presence. Ollie knew better. He should have acknowledged Zeke upon arrival. Groaning, I dropped my head in my hands for a moment before snapping my eyes at Zeke again. “Should I go? I should probably go. I need to hear him out, right?”
The door to my dorm closed behind me when I found Ollie standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. He unfolded his arms, took two steps forward, and grabbed my chin, tilting my face up to his. He let out an exhale. “Don’t do this, Mia. We’re stronger than this.”
I pulled my head out of his grasp and took a step back. “Were you guys together?”
Ollie shook his head. “Whatever happened between her and me was before you.”
“She told me you are her boyfriend, Ollie. Are. As in, currently.”
“No, she isn’t right, Mia. She’s delusional. You have to believe I feel nothing for her. Never did, and never will. It’s always you.”
“Or are you juggling two girls? Telling them both to keep the relationship a secret in case the other one finds out? Because”—a laugh pressed through my throat—”that’s fucking brilliant, Ollie. Well done.”
A rush of emotions played across his face, and I instantly regretted every word. In my heart, I knew Ollie. He wasn’t capable of it.
Injury pierced his eyes. “You really think that low of me, yeah? You think I would do something like that?”
Shaking my head, I instantly rambled my regret away. “No.” I closed the gap between us and laced my fingers into his. “God, no, I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what’s the matter with me, Ollie. I’ve never felt like this before. She told me she is your girlfriend. Then I see the two of you together. I feel sick about it. Explain this to me. Tell me what this is.”
Ollie brought my hand to his chest, pinning them and steadying me. Steadying us. “Truth?”
I nodded.
