“I agree. A girl like her can’t play the piano,” Bria added.
The blonde-haired girl stood and pointed over to the piano in the room, her face red and tears threatening to fall. “Prove it. There’s a piano right there, and I need you to prove to me this isn’t true.”
I had no idea she felt this strongly for Liam. She wasn’t the target of my attack. My whole point was to show Ollie I wasn’t who he thought I was.
“I’m in a cast,” I reminded them with my arm in the air.
“Told you she couldn’t play,” Bria scoffed to blondie.
Instantly, I stood and walked over to the piano before taking a seat. My battered hand lightly ran over the keys, not pressing hard enough to make a sound, but touching enough to familiarize myself with its coolness, its flow, its size. Playing was going to be difficult in a cast. I glanced up to see Blondie’s arms crossed over her chest, Bria with a smirk, and the ounce of hope left in Ollie’s eyes I was about to strip away.
After over a decade, the wait was over as my fingers danced along the keys to an acoustic version of Demi Lovato’s “Sorry not Sorry.” I didn’t know what had come over me, but suddenly, I was humming the tune, and the hum turned into a song, and then I was singing the chorus as the room went up in a roar. My eyes closed as I lost myself in the music I made, forgetting how good it all felt. My voice seemed foreign but still the same as my eight-year-old self. More mature, more powerful, but still held the natural gravelly sound I had perfected at a young age.
After the last key lingered in the air, I let out an exhale and glanced over the piano. Ollie hung his head between his shoulders as he slowly shook it back in forth while the rest of the room cheered. I retook my seat and the circle’s chatter died down, but Ollie stood and walked out without a single word in his wake.
Did he deserve that?
No.
Despite my returned numbing state he had previously stolen from me, Ollie was everything I wasn’t. He was light in the darkest moments, he was belief when no one else could see, and he was the indication of hope as walls etched with doubt caved around him. But I embodied truth, and the truth was—I could never change. And if I’d let him continue down this path, he would have eventually suffocated under my truth as he attempted to free a cursed soul.
Believe it or not, Ollie, I did that for you.
After group therapy was dismissed, Arty kept me behind to talk about what happened and made me promise never to act out again. Of course, I obliged, telling him whatever he wanted to hear.No, sir.Nod.Yes, sir.Nod. And out the door I went.
My pace slowed before I reached the corner of my wing. My stomach drifted, my mouth went dry, my breath caught, and I instantly knew. It always happened whenever I sensed Ollie near. My body deceived me when my mind couldn’t. Leaning against the wall beside my door was the boy whose heart I had ripped out moments before.
It was still beating in the palm of my hand.
“It’s best you stay away from me,” I insisted as I drew nearer. Ollie looked up from the floor and removed his hands from his pockets. His beanie was pulled down lower over his forehead, and red rings circled his eyes. “And you look like shit,” I added, knocking him while he was already down.
“Why are you doing this?” he asked, following me into my room.
“Oh.” I dropped my books over my desk and turned to face him. “You mean me fucking Liam? I figured it’s only fair for you to know what kind of person I am. Liam is not even half of what I’ve done.” It was best for him to know everything.
He folded his fingers together over the top of his beanie as he looked into my cold and distant features. “For once in your life, Mia, can you stop pushing me away and be honest with yourself for five minutes?” he asked, and I paused mid-pace, “I know what kind of person you are, and this isn’t you,” Ollie dropped his hands and took a step toward me, “I know you feel something with me because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have punched a bloody wall. I see it in your eyes, Mia.”
“Stop! I don’t feel!” I shouted and took a step away from him before pacing the room again. “Whatever you think is happening is all in your head.”
Suddenly, Ollie picked me up at the waist and set on top of my desk, gripping the edges as his frustrated eyes searched mine. “You’re a fucking liar.”
He looked down and grabbed my hand from my lap, wrapping his fingers around my wrist. “Your pulse is racing, Mia, and I know what it’s like because mine does the same damn thing when I’m around you. And when I look into your eyes, I can see my Mia is in there. The girl who pretends not to care, but her heart is relentless. The girl who kisses me unapologetically, watches me read, laughs into my neck, and has a genuine fucking smile when I’m beside her. My Mia.”
I forgot what had happened altogether. I forgot what had put us here, in this position. I forgot why Ollie was upset and only wanted to see him smile again. But he took advantage of my faltered mind and continued.
“Distance isn’t good for us. Only two days in confinement and I already lost you, but you will come back because you always do with me.” He dropped his head before wiping his face against his sleeve. “Fuck. I don’t care what you did. You weren’t right before the weekend, but I know you’re right with me. You have to break through, and it’s going to hurt, and it’s going to be painful, but you have to because I’m fucking selfish and I want you.” He shook his head. “No, Ineedyou.”
Ollie brought his hands to my face. His nose grazed mine as he breathed me in. “I need you to feel for me, and once you do, I need you to stay.”
And then my lips were on his as I silenced him and he stole my breath all at once. He was my weakness and my strength—the life and the death of me. He gave and took with each caress of his tongue, unwilling to ease up as the desire between us only heightened. “I’m so sorry, Ollie,” I whispered between moments of mourning without his lips on mine. He shook his head and stole my breath once again. His mouth grasped mine as if it were the lighthouse in the middle of a storm. His eyes shut tighter while he kissed me more firmly, his tongue’s gentle rhythm sending his hips deeper between my legs. And when my hand fell over the waistband of his jeans, he pulled away.
“Please don’t do this to me …” He breathed heavily. “I don’t have the strength anymore.”
“Have me.” My words quickly rolled off my tongue.
Ollie only shook his head.
I wrapped my fingers around his chin and forced him to see me like he had done to me so many times before. “Right now, I’m yours. I never wanted anyone else, Ollie. I have only and always wanted you. I’m all in; whatever’s left of me, is in with you. Please, don’t reject me again. I can’t handle it.”
