“Laugh all you want, but it’s true. You ever sawPretty Woman?” Ollie shook his head as he recovered from his smile. “It’s about a prostitute who meets a man. They have sex but agree not to kiss. But eventually they do, and once the kiss happens, everything changes.”
“You’re full of it,” he said to me. “Sounds to me you haven’t met the right one to prove you otherwise.” He raised a challenging brow.
I glanced back at the other four dancing, lost in music and alcohol swimming in their veins, and decided I was done being boring. I brought myself to my knees and knelt in front of Ollie. He lifted himself back on his palms, supporting his upper half, as his expression changed.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Don’t worry. I don’t want to kiss you … I want to prove something.” A sudden rush of adrenaline hit me all at once.
Ollie’s mouth parted slightly before he nodded. He cleared his throat. “Alright.”
Straddling his lap, I faced him and he lifted off his hands and leaned forward. He placed his hands over my lower back and dragged me closer to him. Our faces were now only inches away from each other. I tried to avoid eye contact. I hadn’t thought this through. WhatwasI thinking? Why was I doing this again? My mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out as everything else around us blurred.
Then my eyes helplessly met his, and a sudden calmness swept over me. He held my gaze as he crossed over an invisible barrier to whatever was hiding inside me. My mouth moved, and I didn’t recognize my own words. “Your desire to look into my eyes right now is far greater than the thought of sex, even though you just touched me and pulled me across your lap.” My fingers found his warm arms, and he closed his eyes momentarily at the sudden touch. “At this point, you don’t want sex. You want something far greater, something deeper. All you want is to feel close to me. You want to take in my scent, take in my breath—”
“How do you know what I want?” Ollie asked, his voice cracking. He was still. Unmoving. His arms rested over my thighs, and his hands hadn’t moved from their spot on my back.
“Because I’m sitting on top of you, and you’re scared to move. I’m surprised you were capable of speaking, since you hardly could get through that sentence.”
Ollie’s lip twitched, but his eyes remained locked on mine.
I continued, “You’ve dropped your guard already because I can see it in your eyes. But you’re still afraid I won’t accept you because I hear the worry in your breathing. Yet, you haven’t turned away because you have already accepted all of me, and the anticipation of knowing it’s mutual is worth every torturous second.”
Ollie’s eyes fell from mine to my mouth. He wet his lips. My heart pounded. His fingers inched below the back of my shirt until they found my bare skin. I sucked in a breath as he exhaled. His fingers grazed their way up my back until his palms rested over my sides. It felt right when it shouldn’t—it shouldn’t have felt like anything. He dropped his forehead to mine and his chest rose and fell unevenly. “And I can’t kiss you?” His minted whisper over my lips sent a shiver across my skin.
I shook my head against his and he closed his eyes. “Normally, kissing would increase an attachment among both parties. It’s the only sexual act that allows both people to equally penetrate and be penetrated with the same, incredibly sensitive body parts—which is the lips. The lips have the thinnest layer of skin on the body, along with the tongue. If you truly want to be connected to someone, mind, body, and soul, then kissing would accomplish that. Not sex.”
There were only two sounds: my pulse and his erratic breathing.
“We can’t kiss, Ollie. Now that we both know we have chemistry, if we took it further with kissing, you would fall for me.” I shrugged. “It’s science.”
My breath staggered as his green eyes sparked with vulnerability I hadn’t seen in him before. The transformation of his sincerity caused the ice block in my chest to pound against my ribcage. The sounds in the room grew distant as I struggled to maintain my point in all this. I could smell the mint from the gum in his mouth and tried to find words.
Anything, Mia. Sayanything.
“Do you believe me now?” I whispered.
Ollie swallowed. Ollie licked his lips. Ollie nodded. And I attempted to get up from his lap when Ollie stopped me.
“Don’t,” he stated or pleaded—I couldn’t quite tell. “It’s my turn now.” His eyes searched mine. “I don’t understand your need to have to over analyze a situation, or turn to science to justify the way you look at me from across the mess hall—and trust me, I notice—but sometimes you have to let go and allow moments happen the way they are meant to.”
“Meant to?” My mouth went dry, and I was surprised my voice didn’t shake under his intensity.
“Yes, moments like this are meant to happen, and you are fighting against it. Look what this alone is doing to us. Could you imagine what our kiss would be like?” He brought his thumb to my bottom lip and grazed his fingerprint across the surface. One simple touch and my entire body was caving. “Mia, after everything you said, give me a clear indication as to why I shouldn’t at least try.”
“Because …”I’m losing control. “Because I have rules.”
His brows dipped and he pulled his head back. “Rules? You have more rules?”
“Yes, my ‘don’t let a boy fall for me’ rule. It’s a dangerous position for you to be in and it’s for your own good.” I stood from his lap, taking the music player along with me.
In an attempt to calm my nerves from what had just happened, I fell across the mattress on my stomach and looked through his music. The alcohol managed to bring a moment of relapse, and I had to stay away from the liquor for the rest of the night. I only felt when I was under the influence, and I hated the feeling. The feeling of my arms being tied behind my back with a dozen rifles pointed at me while stranded on a deserted field. A defenseless target, waiting for an open fire which could destroy me in a matter of seconds. Only this wouldn’t kill me. At least not in the way I wanted it to.
My gaze slid down to Ollie on the floor, who was now lying on his back, facing the ceiling. He met my gaze and let out an exhale. “Why do I feel like you just took something from me?” His tone was low and controlled.
“You’re drunk. It will pass eventually.” I was sure of it, but he closed his eyes and shook his head in denial. Bringing my attention back to the playlist in front of me, I changed the music to the only song seeming to fit the moment. I pressed play on “Feel for Me” by an artist named Foy Vance, which I didn’t recognize. A beautiful acoustic guitar drifted from the small speaker, and the others groaned at the loss of their encouragement to dance, but I didn’t care.
The others eventually died down as they all sprawled out over the floor. Their conversations became white noise in the background, and I lay on my stomach, resting my head over my folded hands, looking down at Ollie on the floor. His green eyes kept me steady as I relaxed under my tipsy spell, falling into a trance.
