Maybe I’m reaching, but the timing of everything is too neatly packed together to be coincidental. “I wentyearsas a household name beforeHot Scoopposted that story about me and decided to fixate,” I say. “A week before Janie started working for me but after I’d hired her. My mom contacted Janie less than a month into Janie’s employment. A couple of months later, the tabloid turned Liam’s new friendship with Kasey into a scandal, at the same time painting me as some sort of victim of his propensity to get into trouble.”
Donovan nods, silently telling me to keep talking. I love that she’s willing to listen to everything, no matter how crazy.
“A few months after that, Bonnie and I broke off our relationship, andHot Scoopdid their best to tear her down and get her out of my life.”
“I remember that one,” Donovan says with a frown. “Mostly because I’m a fan of Henry McAllister’s books, and I felt so bad for him getting dragged into the spotlight. Sympathy pains. He handled it way better than I would have.”
I smile despite the seriousness of the conversation. “You know he’s married to one of my best friends, right? You could meet him.”
“Later,” she says, smiling along with me. “You were on a roll.”
Maybe, but this isn’t exactly fun. “Last spring, the tabloid hit Cole and Carissa hard when Cole was already having a rough time, and I nearly lost my mind trying to help them. He’s my oldest friend, and there were moments when I thought he would never get out from under the pressure and the stress. I was terrified that I had lost the friend I knew and that he would be only a shell of himself forever.”
I shudder at the memory of those days and how painful it was to watch him struggle, but I force myself to continue. Maybe if I lay it all out,one of us will find some answers. “Freya never let tabloids get to her, but as soon as Elliot came into the picture,Hot Scoopturned almost manic. Like it was desperation instead of partial truths driving their stories. That was the first timeHot Scoopsaid anything bad about me, and then they revealed that Elliot and I…”
A thought hits me, and I swear under my breath as I realize something I hadn’t connected to all of this yet. “It was when I met Elliot.”
Donovan frowns, glancing at my chest because she probably feels how tense I just got. “What was?”
“All of this,” I gasp. “Hot Scoop, my mom, this whole nightmare started when I went to my uncle’s funeral a year and a half ago.” Dizziness washes over me, and I drop my arms from around Donovan so I can stumble back to the couch and sink onto it. “I happened upon his obituary and had a gut feeling I should go even though I had no good reason to like the guy.”
“I mean, he did have an affair with his brother’s wife,” Donovan says as she settles next to me. “I wouldn’t like him either.”
I almost forgot I told her that part, and it feels so weird to have someone know my secrets when I’ve kept them hidden for so long. “I didn’t know Elliot existed until I showed up and saw him,” I say as my chest grows tight at the memory. “He was the only relative in attendance, and he looked so alone standing next to the priest. I’d planned to stay at the back and slip away without talking to anyone, but Elliot had just lost his only parent and needed someone to talk to. When I got closer to him, something in my gut told me…” I grimace. “I didn’t know for sure that he was my brother, but I had my suspicions, based on when he was born.”
“He was a product of the affair?” Donovan rightly guesses. “None of the tabloids have been able to prove he’s your brother, but you haven’t denied it.”
“I wondered howHot Scoopknew we were brothers,” I say quietly. “It would have been an interesting enough story to reveal that we’re cousins, and I never would have looked deeper if they hadn’t hinted we were closer. I didn’t… I didn’twantto look deeper.” Especially whenHot Scoopstarted going after Liam, I didn’t have the bandwidth for Elliot being more than my long-lost cousin. “From what I know about my mom, she was the only person in the world who knew Elliot’s parentage, which means…”
I think I’m going to be sick.
Donovan makes a sort of growling sound in the back of her throat, and when I look down at her, she seems to be chewing on something she isn’t sure she wants to say. That only makes me want to hear it more, something she must realize when she meets my gaze. “This is already a lot, Derek. And this is your life, not mine.”
“But?”
She grimaces. “But your mom traumatized you as a kid when you accidentally spilled her secret, and then she went and letHot Scoopbroadcast it to the whole world like it was no big deal. I hate her. I don’t have a right to hate her because I’ve never met her, but—”
“She’s likely the reason your past is about to catch up to you,” I remind her.
“Okay, then yeah, I totally hate her.”
I shouldn’t be smiling right now. Like Donovan said, this is a lot, and there are still so many unanswered questions. Does my mom runHot Scoop, or is she just a cog in the wheel? Why did Elliot become the catalyst for my mom’s actions? What is she hoping to gain? How did she get to Janie? And what am I supposed to do with any of this?
But despite all of the uncertainty, Donovan is still here. She’s on my side.
I can handle your life, she told me.
I think she actually can.
My shoulders relax at the same time something loosens in my chest, letting me breathe easier. This is normally the part where I start spiraling, wishing I could go back and fix my mistakes that led to this point. I should have kept the secret. I should have let my mom back into my life. I should have been more open with my friends. All real circumstances that a week ago would have triggered my anxiety and left me barely functioning.
But instead I’m fine, sitting here taking full breaths and thinking this can wait until tomorrow. Knowing Donovan has my back seems to give me permission to stop. Relax. Accept that this isn’t something I can solve right this minute. I usually can’t ignore a problem until I’ve found a way to fix it, but right now…
Right now, I want a nap. I’m so tired.
“Hey, Dono?”
She gives me a gentle smile. “Yeah?”
