I wish I knew what would help him. Apparently when I said I could handle his life, that was a bald-faced lie. I’m completely out of my depth here. “Why aren’t you answering your friends’ calls?” Curse my independence from my phone! I want to search news outlets or Google Derek’s name, just to see if I might get even a morsel of helpful information, but I don’t even know where my phone is. Somewhere in my garage apartment. “Did something happen to them while youwere gone?”
He shakes his head as his steps slow, and his expression is so hard to read that I don’t know if he’s sick, sad, or angry.
This is driving me nuts! And if I really do want to be with Derek, I need to stop being afraid to push past whatever wall he put up so I can help him. “Derek, you have to tell me what’s going on.”
“Hunter told me the first day on the river that I was trusting too easily.” His words come out rough and strained, and he rubs his hands down his face. Then his hard gaze turns to me as he stops. “It kills me that he was right.”
My stomach twists with discomfort and offense. It wasn’t a direct accusation, but I sure feel his glare. I sit up straight. “Wait, do you thinkIdid something? Are you kidding me?”
He groans, dropping to the couch next to me and resting his elbows on his knees. “No, of course not.”
“If that’s supposed to be sarcasm, you need to work on—”
“I know you wouldn’t do something like this, Donovan.” With slow, exhausted movements, he laces his fingers with mine.
I’m going to lose my mind. “Something likewhat, Derek?”
As his phone starts buzzing with another call—it’s his brother, Elliot, this time—Derek reaches out and declines the call, then unlocks the phone and opens his browser. With two quick taps, he pulls up a tabloid article with his name in bold letters at the top.
Ignoring the fact that he keeps an open tab with the trashy site, I take his phone to see what he’s showing me. “‘Rehab or Romance,’” I read with a scoff. “They like to sensationalize, don’t they? But this doesn’t come as a shock, Derek. Not with the way you were kiss—”
“Look at the date.”
My stomach twists tighter when I see that the story was posted on Wednesday. Three days ago. “Oh.” I read through it quickly, but nothing about the ridiculous story feels like it’s enough to completely break the man next to me. He looks worse off than he did when I told him he wouldhave to row the Big Drops. “Okay, yeah, this isn’t ideal, but we already knew they were going to figure out who I am sooner or later.”
Shaking his head, Derek highlights a line higher up. …as our favorite insider source hinted at earlier this week… “Janie,” he croaks, and the admission seems to cause him a lot of pain.
My eyebrows fly high. “What?”
“She’s been feedingHot Scoopinformation. I don’t know how long.”
My stomach is in a full knot now, but I try to stay logical. “How do you know for sure? This article isn’t enough to tell you that she was the source. It wasn’t even a correct hint.”
One of his eyebrows lifts as he lets out a tired laugh. “Not at a breaking point?” He waves his free arm over himself. “I’m falling apart.”
“You had a big week,” I argue.
“I’ve also had months of my bodyguard and my assistant secretly venting to each other about how much of a mess I am.”
I…have nothing to argue that point. Not after the conversation I had with Hunter the other day. “They’re worried about you?” I don’t mean for it to sound like a question, but it does. I’m not asking if it’s true, but I’m not sure it holds up as an excuse. “I mean, I don’t blame them for being worried. Your life isn’t a walk in the park.”
He lets out a weak laugh as his eyes roam the extravagant suite around us before returning to me. As if his ability to pay for a nice hotel room negates the pressure of his career and fame.
“You deal with a lot, Derek.”
“Ido,” he agrees. “And no, working for me isn’t painless, but I…” Sighing, he runs his hand through his hair. “They never told me how hard it was.”
He has to know how much strain he puts on his employees, right? Derek is too observant not to. Whether he’s accepted his role in Hunter’s stress and Janie’s distress is another story.
He sees something in my face and narrows his eyes. “You knew.”
I hold up a hand before he gets too far with that one. “I talked to Hunter about how much he cares about you. That’s it.”
“He’s been lying to me,” he snaps. “More than anyone, he’s supposed to have my back. If I can’t trusthim, how can I ever…” He clenches his jaw and lifts a finger to brush my cheek. “And he messed up today. He left you vulnerable.”
“You make it sound like Hunter is supposed to protect me,” I say with a frown. “That’s not his job.”
Derek’s brows pull low on his forehead. “You were with me. So yeah, keeping you safe is his job.”
