Taking a long breath, I slowly pull my hair over one shoulder, something Derek notices and doesn’t seem to like as he frowns. He probably knows that I play with my hair when I’m nervous. Iamnervous, but not for the reasons he seems to think.
“That was more than okay,” I tell him, hoping I mean what I’m about to say. “There are a lot of things we’re going to need to figure out, but…” I step forward and press my palm to his chest, looking up to meet his cautiously hopeful gaze. “I don’t want to be scared anymore. Ireallydon’t want to say goodbye to you tomorrow. I can’t make any promises, but… I want to try.”
Curling his fingers around mine, Derek brings my hand up to his lips and smiles softly. “No promises,” he agrees, and his eyes burn bright. “But I’m going to fight to make this work, Donovan. Fight for you. Okay?”
Too overwhelmed to speak, I nod and reluctantly let him walk away, leaving me alone with a million thoughts, all of them centered around a life with Derek Riley.
That doesn’t sound so bad, even with all the stuff that comes with him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Derek
Theworlddoesn’tfeelreal anymore. As our bus rolls back into Moab, I peer out the window and watch the town go by as I try to reconcile the man I was a week ago with the man I am now. I didn’t think a few days could make much of a difference, but Donovan was right when she said the river changes people.
I’m not the same person I was when we started. Unfortunately, that means I’m not sure how to navigate my life going forward. That should terrify me—it would have done a week ago—but this is a good thing. I’ve finally found some peace and the strength to truly give myself grace, and it’s all because of her.
Donovan shifts in her sleep next to me, and I smile down at her. Her head is on my shoulder, her hand in mine. Aside from the few miles I had to row this morning before we could tie theboats together and motor downstream to the boat ramp, we haven’t been apart for more than a few minutes here and there since we kissed yesterday afternoon. We sat side-by-side in the circle at dinner while everyone talked about their favorite parts of the trip, and when the sun went down and the stars came out, we laid our sleeping bags on a tarp next to each other and spent the night counting shooting stars and trading stories.
It has been the best twenty-four hours of my life.
I’m not sure I can say with confidence that I’m in love with Donovan, but I’m well on my way. Whatever that means for us going forward, I’m better equipped to face the future, and I really want that future to always have her in it.
If only it was that simple.
The bus comes to a stop outside the pavilion at Red Earth headquarters, and I reluctantly brush Donovan’s hair from her face to wake her up as everyone starts gathering their things and exiting the bus.
“Told you she drools over you,” Mason says from a couple seats up.
I scowl at him playfully, but it’s Donovan who sleepily retorts, “At least I didn’t flip in the Big Drops.” She yawns and sits up, grimacing when she realizes she really did drool on my shoulder. “Whoops. Sorry, Supes.”
“You can drool on me anytime.” It’s my turn to grimace. That was worse than some of the lines I had to say in my earlier movies, before I could be choosier about the quality of script I got.
Rolling her eyes, Donovan ruffles my hair and gets to her feet. “Don’t go all soft on me now, Riley. Maybe save the cheesy lines for your movies?” She practically skips to the door of the bus to start directing people to the pavilion to return borrowed equipment and make sure they aren’t leaving anything behind.
As per the plan, I hang back on the bus with Hunter and watch the proceedings through the window. Normally I don’t mind the extra stepsI have to take to protect my privacy, but a part of me aches to be down there with everyone, laughing and exchanging hugs.
“Janie’s on her way,” Hunter says, frowning down at his phone. Now that he has service, he is probably sorting through all his notifications. I’m not looking forward to that on my end. “Ten minutes, she says.”
“Good.” My eyes follow Donovan as she and the other guides make quick work of organizing piles of sleeping bags and tents and derigging the boats on the trailer. I should be out there, taking on her burdens because she took on so many of mine this week. I should be saying goodbye to the other guests and thanking them for letting me be a part of their trip despite all the complications I bring. I should be soaking up every minute I have left of feeling somewhat normal.
I’m halfway to my feet, hands on the seat in front of me, before I remind myself how bad of an idea it would be to stand outside in broad daylight, where anyone on the street might see me. I’ve already made that mistake once on this trip, and now there are people actively looking for me. I can only hope most of them gave up the hunt over the last six days.
Hunter clears his throat, and when I look over at him, he’s holding an LA Thunder hat toward me. “Sunglasses too,” he grunts and turns his attention back to the phone in his hand.
Grinning, I grab the hat and practically sprint from the bus as I pull it over my hair. I’m not about to waste this chance for freedom, knowing Hunter’s going to be extra diligent as soon as we leave the Red Earth River Tours property. I won’t even complain.
As much as I want to wrap my arms around Donovan and never let go, I make my way to Maverick first. “Hey,” I say and gesture with my head for him to follow me deeper into the pavilion. Away from the rest of the group and away from outside eyes. “Thanks again for your advice yesterday. Give me your number, and I’ll reach out about helping WanderLove when I have some free time.”
His eyes widen for half a second before he schools his features and looks down at the notebook I pull from my pocket. “You’re serious?”
I can’t hold back a laugh. “People don’t usually question it when I offer help.”
“No, I…” Taking the notebook, he finds a blank page and writes his number at the top. “I don’t want to take advantage of you, Derek.”
This is exactly why I’m more than willing to support him, and I grin. “I know. Friends help each other out, right?”
A shocked laugh bursts out of him, and he shakes his head. “Friends. Right. I guess I didn’t expect you to be so…”
