I shouldn’t have—
“Derek.” Hunter grips my shoulders, his eyebrows pulling low. “Take a breath, man.”
I can’t. Donovan knows too much now. What if I’m wrong about her? What if I can’t trust her? I shouldn’t have followed her out there. I shouldn’t have figured out her secret. I shouldn’t have come on this—
“Derek.” Hunter’s hands move to my head, forcing me to look at him. His hold keeps the dizziness at bay, but I still can’t breathe, and I grip his wrists. “It’s okay. Whatever happened, you can fix it. You always do.”
I can’t fix this. She knows too much, and she’s not going to forget.
She could break me.
“She’s not going to break you,” Hunter says gruffly. “I won’t let her.”
My eyes lock onto his, and my limited breath catches in my lungs at the sight of his determination. He means it. I don’t know if I spoke my thoughts out loud or if he somehow knows what triggered the panic, but he’ll do whatever it takes to protect me from Donovan.
Exhaling slowly and attempting another breath, I look over Hunter’s shoulder again to find Donovan crouched down a decent distance away and meticulously adjusting the strap on her sandal.
Giving me space.
She knows my darkest secrets, but that also means she knowsmebetter than anyone.Trust goes both ways. I’ll never use her demons against her, and she would never use mine against me. I have to believe that.
She’s not dangerous.
I release my grip on Hunter’s wrists, wincing when I see the red marks I leave behind, and then I rest my fist on his chest. Breathe. “Thanks, Hunt. You’re… I don’t pay you enough for dealing with my crap. You signed up for something better than this mess.” I gesture to myself with a shaky hand and sigh.
He drops his hands from my head, leaving one on my shoulder. “You can make mistakes, Derek. Someday you have to believe that.”
“Yeah.” Hopefully someday is sooner than later.
Donovan glances over, still fussing with her shoe, and she quickly turns away when she meets my gaze. But then she looks at me again, and a soft, knowing smile curves her lips as she stands. She doesn’t come closer, still giving me space, but even at a distance I can see something in her expression that feels a lot like longing. Like she would much rather be next to me than too far to help.
You okay?she mouths at me.
I nod.
Yeah, she knows all my secrets, but they’ll be safe with her. No matter what happens between us.
Hunter glances back, his forehead wrinkling when he looks from Donovan to me. “You really like her, don’t you?”
I sigh. “More than I should.”
“Even if she’s dangerous?”
“I don’t think she is,” I reply, knowing full well that Donovan technically triggered my panic a moment ago. It wasn’t her fault. That was fear talking louder than experience, whichisdangerous. “I trust her,” I tell Hunter, though I can’t help but chuckle and add, “More than I should.”
Though he frowns, he nods. “Okay.”
“I should go help with dinner.” I rub the last bit of tension from my chest as I finally relax and breathe deep. “I promised Thiago I would let him teach me some Peruvian songs while we cook.” Then I cringe as I remember the other guests behind me. “How many are watching?”
Looking past me, Hunter narrows his eyes into the glare he uses when people get too close to me. “None now,” he growls.
I groan. “Not as helpful as you think, Hunt,” I say as anxiety bubbles up again. But I swallow it down and take a deep breath, setting my shoulders into a confident stance. Everyone on this beach signed an NDA, I remind myself. I’m fine.
Everything’s fine.
When I turn to head for the kitchen, a few words from Hunter make me pause. “It’s okay to show weakness sometimes.”
Maybe. But saying it is so much easier than believing it.
