“I think that’s all of the tangles.” Derek sounds like he’s smiling. Despite his words, he keeps working his fingers through my hair, startingat my scalp and making his way down to my back, leaving me shivering beneath his touch. “Your hair is incredible.”
Nerves pool in my belly, and I’m so glad it’s been years since my hair has been anything but its natural red. There’s nothing spectacular about it now. “It’s a nightmare,” I say with a forced laugh.
“It’s beautiful,” Derek counters.
“It used to be.” I wince, moving on from that thought quickly. “Nowadays, I let it run wild to try to scare men away. It usually works.”
His fingers grow still, knuckles resting against my shoulder blades near the tips of my hair. My breath catches in my throat as my fear shifts to something completely different with his touch. It’s been a long time since anyone was close to me like this, and a part of me wants to run away before I start thinking this can be normal. But I want it to be. I want to stay right here and pretend we’re two average people pulled together by attraction.
“I get not wanting to date customers,” Derek says, the words slow and careful. “But you date outside of that, right?”
My mind flashes back to the last time I agreed to a date. He charmed me on the river, respectful and intelligent and full of bright smiles and easy conversation. I trusted him with my heart—all of it—and it nearly led to my whole world crumbling around me only weeks later.
That’s what happens when I trust people with my past. I need to remember that.
Jarred out of whatever spell Derek put me under, I shift away from his hands. “Here,” I say, grabbing my shampoo and conditioner and spinning to hand them to him. His gaze is fixed on my face, that piercing stare he’s used before, and the instant he takes the bottles from me, I sink beneath the water and stay there.
I can’t compare Derek to a guy whose name doesn’t bear repeating, but neither can I trust my heart with him. He’s Hollywood’s biggest star,known and loved by millions, and his life doesn’t lend itself to letting sleeping dogs lie.
My secrets can never be safe with someone like him.
When I’m desperate for breath, I rise back up and pretend I was simply rinsing the conditioner from my hair.
Derek’s too smart to think I wasn’t avoiding his question, and though he’s scrubbing shampoo into his scalp, he keeps watching me with shrewd eyes. I don’t think he’s going to let this one slide.
I have to find a way to answer his question without letting him knock my walls down more than he already has. Explaining why I don’t date is far easier than explaining what I meant on the boat today when I told him not to remake my mistakes, and maybe this will satisfy him.
With a sigh, I stand up, shivering when the early summer air hits my wet skin as I shuffle toward shore.
“Wait, don’t…” Derek’s fingers freeze in his hair. “…leave.”
Another shiver runs through me, but not from the cold. He’s looking at me like… Well, the same way I looked at him when he came in. Which is ridiculous, because I’m in a pair of swim shorts and a black bikini top with more coverage than The WanderLove gals’ suits combined. Nothing special. But Derek’s jaw falls slack as I sit at the edge of the beach, where Emmett was sitting before my ogling drove him and Maverick away.
Self-conscious, I cross my legs and sit up straight, all too aware of my exposed skin. I don’t usually concern myself with how I look, but when next to a man who is literally paid to be beautiful… It’s been a long time since I was so aware of being seen.
Pulling my hair to one side, I squeeze the water from it with more force than necessary. I swear I can still feel Derek’s fingers on my scalp, and my hands tremble as I go through the familiar motions of twisting my hair into a braid. “You’re asking about my dating life because you want to get in the mindset of a river guide, right?”Please say yes.
He swallows, lowering his soapy hands into the water. “Yeah, let’s say that.”
I don’t believe him for a second, but I pretend I do because that’s the only way I’m going to get through this. “Then no, I don’t date. But I wouldn’t call myself typical. Most guides just do this for the summer, so we get a lot of teachers like Farah, or college kids like Mason and Thiago. I’m sure they go on plenty of dates.”
Derek tilts his head. “Do guides ever date each other?”
“All the time. Just not me.”
“Why?”
I snort. “I’m thirty years old. A bit old for the twenty-two-year-olds.”
“My friend Freya is seven years older than her husband.” He shrugs. “They make it work just fine.”
Her husbandbeing Derek’s supposed brother. I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the stories when the Candoran queen married her bodyguard, even with the rumors that Derek and Elliot Reid are half-brothers, and I have to swallow my curiosity before I ask Derek if the rumors are true. If he’s deciding not to mention Elliot by name, I’ll respect his privacy. “I had no idea Her Majesty was a cougar. Good for her! But for me?” I shake my head. “Nah. Besides, they’re only here for a summer or two, and then they get on with their real lives.”
He lifts an eyebrow, though it’s almost too subtle to notice. The fact that he’s controlling his expressions both calms me and makes me nervous. He’s trying to downplay his curiosity, at the same time reminding me that he’s an actor and someone I should be avoiding. “And what’s your real life, Donovan?”
Instead of getting up, like I should do, I adjust my position so my feet are flat on the ground and I’m hugging my knees as I give his question some thought. Maybe this is a way I can repay his honesty from earlier today. It’s easy to talk about my current life without getting into my past, and I just have to tell him enough to keep him satisfied. He doesn’tneed my whole life story, even though he’s apparently forgotten about the shampoo in his hair as he stares at me, waiting.
“My uncle—Spencer’s dad—has a ranch called Solace Creek,” I tell him. “It’s in Boulder, a small town a few hours southwest of here. My Pops lives with him now that he’s retired, and they’ve turned it into the kind of place where people can escape the world. Cabins, camping, a few rooms in the big house. They do horseback riding and take people on ATV trails, and when I needed a soft place to land…” Nope. Not where I meant to go. I shrug and rest my chin on my knees. “I go there when I’m not on a river. Help out where I can in between whatever other odd jobs I find. You should rinse that out before it dries.”
