When our monitor shows the first picture—a round-faced man with a mustache and a bow tie—my memory produces my mom’s terrible Italian accent.
“What is this Mascot’s full name?”
“It’s-a-me, Julius Pringles,” she said, dropping her favorite kind—sour cream and onion—into our cart.
I slam the buzzer and answer the question.
“That’s correct!” The celebratory ding sounds. The audience cheers. Leo jostles my shoulder with approval as we switch spots.
During his turn, the trio of cherubic, hat-wearing cereal hawkers show up on screen. With pride, Leo announces, “Snap, Crackle, and Pop.”
Pat repeats himself. “That’s correct!”
Leo whispers as we pass each other again, “ers.”
I laugh, my mood lifts, and we start slaying this section. Question after question, we’re buzzing in fastest and providing the right answer. So much that Pat Crumsky cries, “These guys are on a roll! Team Salmon Sliders and Team Artichoke, you do know where the buzzers are, don’t you?”
By the end of the round, we’ve amassed a couple coupons, a gift certificate, and a rebate (as if those are still relevant). After the last question is asked, we’re crowned the winners, which knocks Team Artichoke out of the game completely. They throw major side-eye when the cameras cut, and they’re walked off set.
I would be peeved too if an out-of-towner crushed my one chance on this show after so many failed attempts. I try to look as apologetic as possible as Jessica and Darla pass by.
“Talk about a comeback,” says one of the younger production assistants as she passes us on the way to hide some bonus items throughout the store.
The real test of physical stamina comes next. I’m amped up, practically vibrating.
We’re ushered into a side room so we can’t see the crew as they booby-trap the store. When the automatic doors open, the third round, the all-out frenzy, will begin. One at a time, we’ll push carts into the store, grab as many items as we can until we hear the buzzer, and then race back to tap out. We must:
?Clip coupons from the circular
?Complete the shopping list
?Avoid obstacles
?Snag bonuses
It’s a lot to accomplish in six minutes, but I’ll be damned if I don’t try my absolute best. I accept the electronic scanner and prop fanny pack from a wardrobe person with poofy hair.
In the holding room with a few cameras set up in the corners to catch our preparations , Leo leads me through a warm-up, so I don’t pull a muscle or collapse into a pile of bones in the freezer aisle. Alexia, noticing us, does the same for Buckley who has been pacing, chewing on his lip.
When he catches my gaze, there isn’t malice there. It’s concern. Concern that he might not come out victorious after all. I like instilling that fear in him. It fuels me.
I read Alexia’s lips as she tells Buckley he should run first.
“I’m going to take first shift,” I tell Leo, standing and brushing myself off. I want to go up against Buckley.
“You sure?” he asks.
I take another look at the list we got sent to our scanner apps.
Wicker basket
Cucumbers
I can’t help but laugh and blush at that one.
White bread
A dozen chocolate-covered strawberries
