“Can you even believe we’re discussing Wren Roland’s love life? It’s felt like a taboo for so long, and now suddenly this summer he’s the one with all the juicy drama.”
“Uh, babe, excuse me. What about me and Brandon?” Mateo sasses.
“Please, you two are practically wearing Jonas Brothers–era promise rings at this point. Catch me when you finalize your registry.” Mateo blushes harder than I’ve ever seen him blush before. “Let Wren have this one. We’ve been waiting forever for this.”
If they’ve been waiting forever, then I’ve been waiting forever and a day.
Avery grabs the second zipper and meets mine in the middle so we can stand the brimming bag up on its wheels. “I need your advice on something,” I say, pushing the suitcase over toward the door. “Brandon brought up a good point on our hike the other day about how I, uh, experience attraction and why I pulled away from Derick’s kiss.” I pause, failing to make fire from my last two emotional flints. When I finally feel a spark, I say, “I think I might be demi.”
“Romantic or sexual?” Avery asks without missing a beat like she’s been anticipating this moment.
“I don’t know. Does it matter right now? I’m still learning about it, but a lot of these experiences I’m reading and hearing about are ones I’ve had as well. I think a big part of why I’m hesitant around Derick is because there’s the relationship timeline I’ve internalized from the movies and then there’s the one I feel comfortable with, which is why all this pressure to get a kiss or have sex or define the relationship is really messing with me.”
“Ugh, our baby is growing up,” Mateo says, sounding tearful.
Avery adds, “We’ve always wondered, but it took you so long to settle ongayand get comfortable coming out to everyone that we didn’t want to push the nuances. We quietly celebrated the small victory.”
“Quietly? You threw a surprise Baby Gay Shower in my honor. You made everyone call you Mama and Papa all night. It was creative but also kinda creepy.” I shudder at the memory. I still have moreLove is LoveT-shirts than I know what to reasonably do with.
“Oh, hush. You loved every second of it,” Avery snaps.
I roll my eyes. “What I really need to know now is if I should tell Derick. Especially since I’m still working it out.”
Avery instantly says, “I think you should. However you feel is valid, and however you identify in the moment is right. If you feel like the label ofdemiis going to help him understand you and what you want from a relationship, then I’d say go for it.”
“Easier said than done, obviously, but you said you wanted him to know you, and if this is you, then don’t wait for him to read your mind, babe,” Mateo adds.
I take all of this in, processing as best I can before I have to leave to meet Derick at the bus station. I’m not usually one to wait until the last minute to pack, but I’ve been wavering on this trip since the holiday, and now I’m scrambling.
“But what if it makes everything weird? What if he doesn’t like me anymore? I’m just wondering what happens halfway through this trip when he finds out and we’re stuck together.” My breathing quickens. My anxiety whips up a brain tornado. I sit down in my desk chair to keep myself from getting too swept up in it.
Avery’s concerned eyes meet mine. “Call us. We’ll come get you.”
“Babe, if he gives you shit over something like this, then he’s a piece of shit. Got it? Your identity is valid, and if he makes you feel otherwise, you best believe I’ll show up to that Courtyard Marriott with my claws out,” Mateo says.
“Easy, tiger,” Avery says with a laugh.
They pile on top of me in a group hug so tight and long, I fear I might suffocate from their love. Chosen family or found family? I’m not sure, maybe both, but either way I’m happy to have them always. That is until Mateo says, “Just know I will be throwing out your underwear while you’re gone, babe, so either get used to going commando or buy yourself some cute, supportive briefs as soon as possible.”
***
In the small, glistening Any Weather Transportation group bus station in Baskersville, I roll my suitcase back and forth with frenetic energy. I haven’t seen Derick yet, but I have a text on my phone letting me know he’s on his way.
After my conversation with Mateo and Avery and a car ride over to the station singing Celine Dion’s greatest hits at top volume, I’m at ease and ready for whatever this trip throws at me. Conversations can be tough, feelings can be hard, but I’m willing and able to accept the challenge.
To keep myself distracted, I’m reading a digital poster on the proposed plans for bus expansion. It seems like Willow Valley is the next town to see major shifts and its own pickup schedule. From a news article a few weeks back, I saw they were taking over some of the Lonely Lass-O’s spaces for the nine-to-five crowd, since it’s mostly an after–10 p.m. establishment.
I question how much Derick’s family is making on this deal. It’s not like they need the extra capital.
I don’t have time to think too hard on it because our bus pulls up early to the boarding lane. The beleaguered woman in the ticket booth, gum snapping and head tilting, makes an announcement over the loudspeaker that Bus 139 to New York Port Authority is now boarding. I check my phone for more word from Derick. Nothing.
The rest of the passengers file onto the maroon metallic vehicle that glints in the broad daylight. This bus appears to be brand new. Nothing like the old blue ones with the faded fabric seats and peeling ads for now-canceled network cable shows. This whole business seems like it got an upgrade since I left for college.
I tack myself onto the end of the line, willing Derick to show up. If we don’t make this bus, the next one doesn’t come for another hour and a half. We promised Oscar we’d meet him at his office near the Flatiron Building to view the movie and have a general discussion. I want to be on time, and Earl ensured I know thaton timemeansearly.
At the accordion door, I attempt to heave open the underbelly latch to stow my luggage. The handle is jammed. Hard as I pull, the blasted thing won’t budge. My hand cramps and a sinking feeling starts, leaving me wondering if this is an omen for the whole trip.
But right as I’m about to call it quits, Derick’s voice calls out from behind me, “Need some help?”
